3 Ways You Can Be More Thoughtful

Has anyone ever told you you’re inconsiderate? Or maybe that you could have put more thought into your effort?  Not to toot my own horn, but I have mastered thoughtfulness. I might even be on team Too Much. If you are either way, here are some tips to help you be the kind of person who thinks of others.

  1. Listen more – Yup, it’s that simple. People are constantly talking about their hopes and dreams and desires. All YOU have to do is pay attention when they’re speaking. Even if you would typically add your opinion or immediately talk about what you want, try to stick to what they’re saying.  For example, if your wife says she’s been admiring a pair of earrings at Target (Macy’s, Amazon, etc.) for the last month but doesn’t want to splurge on the $25, ask her what color the earrings are. Ask her what makes the earrings so unique. She probably won’t even care about them anymore because she will feel connected to you. Win, win. You might decide you want to get the earrings as a surprise gift for her, and in my opinion, that would be the ultimate level of being thoughtful. You would have listened, and you took action based on what you learned.
  2. Do before being asked – There’s a fine line with this one. I’m not saying be presumptuous and assume that you know what someone else needs. I’m am saying, if you know your husband loves getting into a warm bed, make the bed warm every once in a while. Get or make a hot water bottle. When he’s in the bathroom before bed, stick the bottle under the blanket on his side of the bed, so it’s warm when he gets there. Similarly, you could ask your girlfriend what she wants for breakfast before you go to sleep and if you happen to wake up before her, either make or prep what she said she wanted. It takes nothing away from you and makes the other person feel happy and loved.
  3. Say sorry first – This may be the hardest one. It might be the most impactful one. Many people think that the person who did something is always the one at fault. If you dig down deep, you can find a genuine reason for you to apologize first. If your boyfriend cheated on you, no, you should not apologize. If they physically harmed you, you should leave and then call the po-po. If you’re upset because he didn’t answer your call while he was working and now you’re not speaking to each other at all, this is the kind of situation I’m talking about. If you love him and he loves you, call him and say, I don’t like how I reacted the other day. I should have taken a step back and let you reach out to me when you had the time. I hope you can forgive me. If your partner is a good person, they will not exploit your apology, and they will most likely tell you they’re sorry as well. You lose nothing by saying sorry first.

I hope this was helpful. It can be challenging to change the patterns you’ve been creating for your life. I believe we can, though, if we care—one step at a time.

– Ashley Anessa

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