Sometimes it’s hard to know when to pull the plug on a relationship and just end it.
I think we are conditioned to walk away or break up with a person after:
- Endless arguments,
- constant cussing and fussing,
- the throwing or breaking of things,
- the ripping and destroying of property and or clothes,
- Physical altercations between the two people in a relationship or a third party (i.e. a side chick or dude)
- Proof of cheating (text messages or caught in the act)
However, there are some other signs like a drop in communication, a lack of affection, taking long (hours or days) to respond back to text messages or return phone calls are also signs that it’s time to move on but these signs are so subtle and easily overlooked because most of the time they have logical explanations attracted to them. Those explanations being “he was busy and lost track of time, he’s tired from work or he lost his phone.” But these are all indications that he’s lost interest and is about to pull the plug on your relationship or hoping that you will take the hint and you end the relationship.
If you feel like the person your dating is pulling away from you, you are feeling that way for a reason, don’t ignore it. It’s okay to also pull back until he makes up the new distance between the two of you and if he doesn’t then you are free to move on with your life.
“Behaviors other than cheating that means it’s time to move on”:
- You start to feel like who you are is not enough– suddenly you feel the need to audition for his attention. Because he’s growing cold or distant you feel like it’s your fault and try to do all you can to be a perfect Pattie. Before you didn’t do this, but now you feel like you must craft the perfect text message response or look picture-perfect beautiful for him. It’s no longer about being yourself but wanting to please him so you can get receive his validation again or not to upset him, so he doesn’t walk away.
- He doesn’t keep his word and he’s no longer reliable– he said he would call you at 10:30 PM, but it’s now 11:42PM and you still haven’t heard from him. You try calling him, he doesn’t return your call until the next day or days. This also applies to text messages; he starts taking hours or days to respond back to you. He makes it difficult to reach him by telephone. The relationship starts feeling very one-sided, you notice that it’s you are initiating the communication.
- He stopped making you feel special– he starts to act coldly towards you or you feel like he’s bothered by your presence, he stops taking you out on dates, and or stops showing you affection.
- He doesn’t support you or find interest in your day to day life/activities/hobbies– he never has an interest in the things that you have interest in if it’s not about him. He stops asking about how your day at work is going or how many books you sold, or how your business is going. work or the things you like to do or your hobbies
- You feel like you have to change yourself either physically or emotionally to be what he wants– Similar to sign 1, you may feel like he wants you to live up to an unrealistic standard of beauty, or he may even try to compare you to someone else saying you should act more like his coworker’s wife or girlfriend. He thinks he’s giving constructive criticism but he’s downing you and make you unsure of yourself. To grow and thrive in a relationship you need to feel free to be exactly who you are, not change yourself to fit in some mold that this one guy wants you to fit in.
It’s not always easy leaving a relationship, but when you honor yourself and realize you deserve much more than what you’re settling for the “walking away” part becomes easy, it’s just putting one foot in front of the other walking in a direction away from him.
