Are You a Poor Communicator?

Today's blog post "Are You a Poor Communicator?" was inspired by an email conversation that then turned into a face to face conversation, in which to avoid arguing and continuously back and forth getting nowhere, I chose to articulate to the individual, clearly there was a miscommunication. ~If you're too busy to give a person your undivided attention then you should avoid responding or initiated a conversation with them because the point of communicating is to be responsive to the person you're speaking to. ~Coach Sam

Listen, one thing we know about life is that it is filled with conversation and those conversations have the ability to either build our relationships or tear them down. In fact, just the other day I was sent an email communication that had incorrect data and my personal information.

I responded and let the person know exactly what was wrong with the incorrect data and I included a note as well and asked them to remove my personal contact information. The response I got back let me know they didn’t understand.


Because they asked me a clarifying question about the incorrect data and told me that they are not the person to contact to have my personal data removed. So, I sent the follow-up response and restated what was wrong with the incorrect data and asked them if they saw the notation, I put on it.


As well as let them know that I thought from our previous conversations that my personal contact information was voluntary and asked them is this not the same documentation that we spoke about earlier.


The response I got back frustrated me. And I said you know what, I’m just not going to respond back to it because number one I realized this person was busy. And secondly, I realized they are not the person I needed to speak with anyway.


What I received back was an email that said in the very opening statement, I’m on a call. And the rest of the email was highlighted different colors. If you know anything about email etiquette you know that you don’t highlight like that.


But they said again I’m not the person to contact about having your personal information removed and they also address a question that I did not ask. Now you would have thought the conversation was over, but it was not.


This person then comes to where I am, in person, to have a clarifying conversation about a conversation in which they directed me to someone else. So, I’m thinking, why? Why are you talking to me?  Why – because if you’re telling me that I need to speak with someone else that someone else is not you.


So, the individual is standing there telling me that I was asking the same thing repeatedly. I had to inform the person that I was not but they insisted that I was. And to close the conversation as politely as I could, I said clearly there was a miscommunication because I did not ask you the same question more than one time.


And since I need to speak with someone else there is nothing more that I need to say to you.


And sometimes that’s happening in our relationships. We ending up frustrated – the people that were dealing with and dating are ending up frustrated. Because there is miscommunication and often times that’s because we are not focused. We are not dialed in. We are not giving the person that we’re speaking to – that is speaking to us, our undivided attention because we’re multitasking.


And while it’s not bad to multitask at times, the reality is the main point of dating, in dating is to make sure that you are getting all the information that you can and that it is accurate information about this person.


Because if you’re not getting the information that you need about this person, you don’t know whether or not you should continue dating this person, or whether or not you need to let this brother go.


So, sometimes ladies it’s not that the men were dealing with don’t care, that they’re not interested, that they’re not concerned – sometimes we’re doing other things while we’re talking to them – while they’re talking to us and we’re thinking we’re fully understanding what’s being said and communicated to us, and we’re missing the ship. In fact, sometimes we’re not even on the ship. We’re still on the shore and this man is out to sea.


The disconnect is so big. Then we’re wondering why we’re constantly frustrated. It’s because of miscommunications, due to lack of focus. So, I encourage you ladies to make sure that you are focused when you’re communicating or this man, whoever he is – is communicating to you.


~If you’re too busy to give a person your undivided attention then you should avoid responding or initiated a conversation with them because the point of communicating is to be responsive to the person you’re speaking to. ~Coach Sam



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