Relationships and choices. Day in and day out in our relationships we’re making choices. And our choices fall under 3 categories: continue, caution, and cease.
If we decide to continue, we simply decide to maintain our current path and timeline in getting things done. If we decide to use caution, we choose to slow down to reassess our current path and or our timetables. And when we decide to cease, well, for some reason valid or not, we decide that our original choice or plan is not working, or not worth pursing any longer, so we need to choose something different.
It’s truly up to us. As the CEO of our life, we make choices to cease all activity, to be cautious, or continue going strong with whatever our current mindset is and while we may not think of it that way when we’re making decisions that’s essentially what we’re doing. Just think of your most current or longest relationship. In the beginning when you first met the person you decided to continue to get to know and learn about him.
And I stated him, because as you know, I’m writing from the perspective of a woman interested in dating men. (Nothing against you fellows because this information goes both ways, still my target audience is young ladies interested in dating men.) So, ladies think – Do you remember the last relationship you were in? Do you remember how it started? What about how it ended? Or why it ended for that matter?
Your thoughts on how the relationship progressed or not were related to your mindset on who you thought the guy you met was by the way he presented himself, and on your ideals, and outlook of the future you could possibly have with him. And quite naturally that’s the way it should be. Still, I titled this blog “Are You Confused by the Glimpses of Light?” because too often that’s what happens. We get confused by inconsistency. We find ourselves stuck in the promise the beginning of the relationship showed us. We don’t trust our intuition to cut our losses and walk away sooner rather than later. And therein lies the problem that we need to address.
Do you keep addressing the same problems, thinking that the last time was the last time, only to find yourself addressing it yet again? Do you keep saying I remember when everything was smooth sailing, when times were good, and things were progressing the way you wanted them to? Do you keep feeling like walking away, and then he does or says something that makes you reconsider your decision to call it quits?
After considering those above situations mentioned, do any of them sound familiar? If so, you, my friend, have what I call the glimpse of light problem. Simply put your relationship is over. But, you’re holding on to an idea of what it could become if you stay the course or if you cautiously make every effort to decide ways to do all you can to make things good or right. And it’s not going to work because a relationship takes two people working towards common goals. A relationship takes two people willing and open to commit and compromise for the other. And that’s not what you have.
Yes, it’s a harsh reality to face. Still, why continue to go round and round with a person who doesn’t see your relationship as something worth building? Why continue to put yourself through the daily frustration and aggravation of expressing your needs and values to only end up empty and drained? Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with giving your all to make your relationship work.
The issue is when you are the only one giving your all to make your relationship work because you can’t force anyone to build with you. You have situationship where you’re trying to have a relationship with an individual who has checked out, but in most instances is giving you just enough reasons, glimpses of light, to keep you holding on and hopeful of having a successful relationship with him.
While it’s cold and cruel of him to do. He can’t continually do anything you don’t allow or accept. If you are experiencing this, remember I said earlier you are the CEO of you. So, you have the option and responsibility to speak up for yourself and not entertain him stringing you along with a habitual pattern of inconsistency and thoughtlessness. I know you’ve heard people say it’s easier to say than do.
So, if that’s your mindset, I challenge you to ask yourself do you believe you are worth having someone be consistent with you in thought, deed, and action. And if the answer is yes, which it should be, then you need to make up your mind and follow through by showing it with your actions that you’ve had enough of the glimpses of light he’s giving you. Because what you don’t want is to wonder what could have happened if you took a chance on making yourself a priority in your own life.
~People whose behaviors and lifestyles appear as glimpses of light that come and go are unstable and unsteady, and choosing to trust in them is choosing to sign up for frustration and foolishness.~ Coach Sam
~Exalted Royalty~ A C. E. SAM COMPANY