Are You Dating Insecure?

Today's blog post "Are You Dating Insecure?" was inspired by an interaction I experienced this week as I was preparing to leave the place where I was that I call spotlighting... ~You cannot expect a man to see you as confident, when you tell him and show him through your actions and reactions that you're insecure.~ Coach Sam

Do you want to know the number one way a man knows your insecure on a date? That you’re dating him insecure? Well, that is exactly what I’m going to be talking to you about today.

Are You Dating Insecure?

So, listen people, I was out this week and it was an ordinary day for me and I just sat down and I was jotting down some things.

However, I noticed that there was this couple out on a date. Now I really didn’t pay them any mind and I could tell by the questions the lady was asking this man that she really did not know him.

But she was really trying to get to know him. Now the issue at hand came into play when I got ready to leave. So my mask at the time was put on top of my purse and I just picked it up from on top of my purse and I didn’t even pay attention to it, but I put it on upside down. After I put it on, I then picked up my purse because I was getting ready to go.

But as I was picking up my purse, I realized that she said something under her breathe.  Now human nature got the best of this young man because of course as most of us do when somebody we know that we’re out with is talking about another person we look directly at that person.

And this young man’s back was to me and because his back was to me, he had to turn. As he’s turning to look me in my face, I’m getting ready to get up. So now we’re just in this stare at one another.

So, I said, well, maybe he’s going to say something. Let me just not move. So, after a few seconds I realized no, he’s not going to say anything, he’s just staring at me because of whatever she said…

So, I’m going to go ahead and go. But, of course, before I left, I did look at her because I was just thinking why, ma’am, why!

And that right there ladies is how he knows that you’re insecure. Because you spotlight other women.  When you take the spotlight off of you and you shine it on another woman … what you have just said to this man is I am not confident, I am not secure, in what I offer, in what I have that I bring to the table of your life.

And I want you to remember this, when you’re out on a date, especially in the beginning stages when you’re trying to get know this person the last thing that you should do and that you should want to do a spotlight another woman.

Because again you shift this man’s focus from you to a stranger and as I said previously his back was to me. So, he didn’t even realize I was getting ready to leave, until she drew his attention to me.

Even if she was thinking you know she’s a pretty girl or maybe that’s really this type of woman. Maybe I’m not really his type – let me say something about her to see what he says back…

That’s the wrong thought process because again you’re showing this man, even if you didn’t say that, you’re showing him with your actions that you’re not confident in you. And you should be confident in you.

Because guess what there’s nobody else like you, who can do you, so just be you. And I want you to also know this –

~You cannot expect a man to see you as confident, when you tell him and show him through your actions and reactions that you’re insecure.~ Coach Sam


P. S. Now Recognize Him: Is He Dating YOU For Commitment?  Ladies, it’s on pre-order so you can pre-order your copy today. You can get into the book and find out the gems and nuggets you need to know if the man you’re dating is dating you for commitment.

Because there are simple things that you could be overlooking and guess what this man you’re dating does not want to commit.

So, if you’re tired of dating men who are dating you and then at the end of it you realize they don’t want a commitment go ahead and get you a copy.

Some of you – you may want to work with me directly.

You’ll know I’m a coach I usually don’t say this but I’m on mymentor. So all you have to do if you want to work with me directly is go to,  look for cesamempowers and you’ll find me right there. Click the link schedule your session.



Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email