Are you dirty? Relational Residue

(An oldie but goodie post)

With Valentine’s Day upon us, rather than talking about the gifts, the companionship or the activities associated with this holiday I chose to go the opposite route and talk about dirt. You may think to yourself, what is the connection, why is she going to talk about dirt and not love? Well, the truth is that a lot of us are walking around dirty. There is a lot of gunk, dirt and grime still left in us from the last relationship or maybe it was a relationship from 15 years ago that you just never got over. Either way there is residue that needs to be scrubbed off and it’s going to take more than a long hot bath to do it.

Taking the time to address the residue will allow you to really assess negative habits, mindsets and attitudes that you picked up as a result of the last relationship that did not go the distance, or maybe to Pizza Hut because secretly maybe that’s as far as you wanted to go.

Some things to consider as you address your relational residue.

What negative mindsets did I walk away with about myself?

What habits did I pick up that are not going to help me be the person that I now want to be?

Is my self-talk negative or positive?

Are you dirty by association?

Listen to yourself because you know intuitively when you are dealing with someone who still has relational residue of their own. You never want to be in a position where you are confronted with a person’s past all because they have not taken the time to tie up loose ends and heal themselves. Will you recognize relational residue in your new love interest? You cannot make someone heal or get over a past relationship so for all you ambitious people out there, you cannot scrub off someone else’s residue for them. Your love will not be enough to make them clean.

So rather than focus on how to find love this Valentine’s Day, focus on how you can become clean. It takes time so don’t rush the process. Dirt will always mess up something that is clean and new.

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