Well, you see sometimes we say… that man was no good. He was no earthly good. And the relationship was just terrible. It was a whole terrible mess. And yet for some reason or another we find ourselves after we said he was no good – after we said we did not want him -after we said this is not working – still picking up the phone and calling our ex.
So today I want to talk to you about two reasons why it’s a bad idea to still be calling your ex.
Number One
It keeps you with the door open.
That’s right! It keeps you from closing the door.
It’s like this – you can’t evaluate when you haven’t committed to elevate.
Now we can say a number of bad things about our ex but if we’re still picking up that phone calling him – on his hotline – we have not committed to truly evaluating the situation that we have with him.
Because if we’re truly interested in the evaluating the situation that we have with him, we should not find ourselves regularly communicating with him.
If you are regularly communicating with your ex the question is why?
It’s one thing if you have children with this man or even one kid with him, then that’s understandable.
But I’m not talking about keeping the lines of communication open with him for the sake of your children – being a good co-parent.
I’m talking about a man who you have no ties to what so ever. You didn’t have any children, you didn’t have any business-related partnerships going on, there’s nothing between the two of you that should have you picking up the phone call this man.
And yet you’re still reaching out to him. You’re still contacting him. The question you need to answer is why?
Because again he’s your ex. And he’s your ex for a reason.
Also, you cannot move forward stuck in reverse. Now, if you said he was no good. He was trifling. He didn’t treat you right. He didn’t do what was right.
He was out there in the streets chasing this one and that one, spending his money unwisely then looking at you to help him out – then what you’re saying is he is not the ideal man that you want to spend a lifetime with.
So why are you picking up the phone to call him? Why do you even still have his contact information?
You need to delete it.
Because again if you’re doing that – if you’re still reaching out to him, if you’re still contacting him, if you’re still calling him, then you’re keeping yourself for moving forward.
You’re keeping the door open.
Number Two
It lets him know that you’re still available. That’s right!
So, if you’re still contacting him, he knows you have not moved on.
You have not moved on; you have not moved forward with your life because you’re still calling him.
Because the thing about calling him is that means that you’re spending your time talking to him, engaging him, knowing and figuring out what’s going on with his life, and in his life.
You’re not truly moving on and moving forward so that lets him know and sets you up to return to the prior situation that you had.
If he has not changed, you have not changed, but you still picking up the phone, you’re still contacting him, you’re still calling him, you’re still reaching out to him, again it sets you up to say you know what, maybe I should go back.
Maybe I should try it again.
And more importantly it also sets you up to return to a worse situation. Because if you left him because you thought that hey this is not going to work, he’s no good, he’s not a good fit for me and then you return to this situation with him he may be worse.
He may be mad at you lowkey and he just has not told you that you know what I’m angry that you left me.
I’m mad that you had the audacity to think that you could do better. But you know what, if you willing to come on back to me, if you willing to come back and be with me, oh I’ll show you how no good I really can be.
Because you really didn’t get all of what you could have got, but just come on and back to me and watch it and see how bad that I can really be.
Watch how no good I can really treat you. So again you set yourself up to return to the same man in the same situation or to return to the same man who’s going to treat you even worse because you did have the audacity to leave him.
So I want you to really think about why you should not be calling your ex especially you say he wasn’t a good man.
Because if he was not a good man and if he was not a good fit you need to really be moving on and moving forward with your life.
And that starts by deleting his contact information and not contacting them when you have no reason to do so.
~When both you and your ex still hold the same thoughts, opinions, and ideas on what a relationship and marriage should be, then going back means you’re both signing up in your present to repeat and relive the failures and frustrations of your past because you refuse to abandon what you already know didn’t work.~ Coach Sam
~EXALTED ROYALTY~ A C. E. SAM COMPANY
