Are You Too Kind to Men?

Today's blog post "Are You Too Kind to Men?" was inspired by an incident that I witnessed take place in an elevator this week. It made me think about how often many ladies dating may be going out of their way to be kind to men and not realizing that they are in fact too kind. ~You're kindness is kind, until it enables others to be inconsiderate of your well-being.~ Coach Sam

Are You Too Kind to Men?

How do you describe yourself? Do you describe yourself as a kind person? Do you regularly find yourself doing kind things for people, in particular people that you don’t know?  I mean do you go above and beyond without being asked and without any expectation of anything?

If so, this topic is definitely for you because it’s quite possible that you’re being too kind to men; in particular to the men that you’re dating in your relationships and they’re taking advantage of your kindness. And I’m going to give you an example of something I witnessed this week that inspired today’s topic that way you can have a real-life scenario of what being too kind looks like.

I was out and about and the building that I was going into required access with a key card. As I was digging out my key card, I notice that there was this man and he also was getting ready to go into this building. Again, this building requires access, but he did not take his card out. He just waited for me to finish digging mine out of my purse. After we went into the glass doors we went to the elevator.

Once we got to the elevator, I’m standing there waiting, of course I push the button for it to come, but also another lady comes. So, we get on to the elevator (me and the lady) once the elevator opened. But the man did not move. He continued to wait at the far end of the entrance. However, he did eventually start to move; but the thing about it is the elevator doors were already closing.

And mind you these elevator doors are heavy we’re not talking about a plastic flimsy door for your screen. We’re not talking about a wooden door that you have at your house. We’re not even talking about a glass door that’s at common stores – elevator doors people. Now as the elevator doors are closing this lady puts her hand into the elevator doors to stop them from closing, so she thought.

However, they continued to close. Meanwhile, she’s struggling with the elevator doors trying to keep them open and she’s yelling at this man – hold on, just wait a minute, I’m going to get it to open for you.

Now that wasn’t working. So, she eventually stops because certainly she didn’t want her hand crushed. But in the meantime, the man – he’s not helping her. He’s not telling her ma’am it’s okay, don’t worry about it. He’s not telling her it’s not that serious, I can catch the next one… He’s not telling her, no, don’t put your hand in the door ma’am.

None of that. You know what he’s doing? Standing there. Standing there! Just looking at her struggle with the elevator door. Mind you, she’s doing this for him! She was already on the elevator. Then she decides because the elevator doors closed anyway to force the elevator to open again by continuing to press the same button where we were. Now once the elevator door opens the man was gone.

He had already gone back to the other side to catch another elevator. Because again it’s an elevator and there were other elevators. So, it didn’t make sense to just be standing there hoping and wishing and praying that she’s able to get the door open for him. But once she realized he was no longer standing there waiting, she yelled to him come on, come on, I got the door open for you. So here he comes now – running – trying to hurry up and get into the elevator and just bumps into me.

Now needless to say, I know he didn’t do it on purpose, but that clearly frustrated me because I’m thinking to myself it really was not this serious. It really was NOT.

So, as a woman, I want you to think about that. And I want you to think about the types of things that you do.

Because as I said, this lady is doing all of that for this man and she did not know this man. Now can you imagine if she would not have moved her hand in time what would have happened to her hand?  Think about it.  The elevator would have crushed her hand and it would have been her own fault. As she jeopardized her own well-being, her own safety, for a stranger – who didn’t ask her to and was not even trying to help her.

Think about that and when you think about the types of deeds that you do – the types of favors, the way that you go out of your way to be kind to the people in your life, or even to strangers I want you to consider whether or not you’re putting your own well-being at risk.


 ~You’re kindness is kind, until it enables others to be inconsiderate of your well-being.~ Coach Sam



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