Are Your Friends – Friends?

Today's blog post "Are Your Friends - Friends? is inspired by an incident that took place this week between two individuals who called each other friend. As an objective party I intervened and listened to them both, and though it was not apparent to one, clearly the other was not a friend. A friend is like the anchor of a ship whether your life’s journey is going smooth or rough, they’re with you and their character is a testament to their faithfulness because it shows they are for you. ~ Coach Sam

I know we all have friends, are so we say. You know friends are in our life and they greatly affect our life and the quality of it, whether we know it or not. So, it’s up to us to know and understand what a friend is. Many of you I’m sure may think you’re sure that you know what a friend is and that your friends are for you. Yet, everyday “friends” fall out and friendships die.


Therefore, I challenge you to think twice because most likely you have people in your life that you call friend and truly, they’re not. That’s right, people – meaning more than one person that you’ve given them the title of a friend and they don’t even qualify for you to call them friend and if you’re not aware of it these individuals come into your life and make withdrawals while rarely if ever making any deposits.


Oh, often it’s not easily seen because people have a way of camouflaging their motives and adapting to situations to appear as though they are for you. So, I want to give you 5 traits you need to be mindful of as you accept, maintain, and continue to build with people in your life because the quality of your relationships is the foundation of your life, what it will be, and who you will become.



Contrary to popular belief pettiness is not reserved for children. There are many adults who live and operate in a state and from a state of pettiness. Sure, it’s intangible, yet it’s destructive behavior and petty friends don’t see an issue with being petty. And they underhandedly take shots at you through their speech and behavior as petty people have their own insecurities that they live out by bringing negative energy into your life.


Of course, we all know what pessimism is and the issue with pessimistic people is they too bring negative energy into your life. And the fact of the matter is that no one’s life is perfect. Yet, pessimistic people find a way to stay in a state that no matter what you say or do they’re not content as they focus and fixate on telling others and trying to convince others to see life through their lenses.



Now with procrastination it’s both an internal statement as well as an external statement. Internally, if you have procrastinators as friends, they have an issue with appropriately managing their time, so externally their statement to you is it’s acceptable to leave you hanging and typically they won’t see an issue with it. And you can’t expect a friend to value your time when they don’t see their own as a priority.



Ah the problematic friend. This is the friend who constantly has an issue. Something has or is wrong in their life. And often it seems as though problems follow them. Now while some problems are out of our control, people who attract problems everywhere they go and in everything they do fail to realize the common denominator is them. So, when you have a problematic friend, you constantly have a leach draining you dry.



There’s nothing wrong with friends wanting to be in your life, spend time with you, and even protect you. However, the possessive friend feels a sense of entitlement to you and to monopolize your time. And when you try to branch out and grow, they take offense to it and will do and say things to let you and others know. So, the result is you feel as though you’ve done something wrong, when in fact, you’re dealing with a toxic person.


The moral of the story is that you need to clearly define friend and understand that anyone who claims to be your friend will treat you in a loving and respectful way. They will add value into your life and be a support system that’s dependable and reliable. They’re what I call fire tested – tried and true. Translation – they’re with you even when they’re not physically with you. They won’t take your insecurities and use them as weapons to belittle you directly or indirectly. And they don’t stab you in the back.


Because they have no desire to cause you to feel less than about yourself or for you to have a negative view of the state of your life. And while they may not always agree with you when they disagree or hold you accountable, they do so from an objective perspective and their approach shows you that you’re loved and appreciated.


So, my call to action for you today is to evaluate all the people you call friend and if their speech and actions show you that they’re not stop calling them friend and most importantly remove them from your inner circle because they don’t belong there to begin with and it’s your responsibility to put people in their place because if you don’t you’ve given them a pass to continue to handle you as they see fit.


A friend is like the anchor of a ship whether your life’s journey is going smooth or rough, they’re with you and their character is a testament to their faithfulness because it shows they are for you. ~ Coach Sam

For an insightful Friendship Activity see the video below:


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