Are Your Relationships Healthy? 5 Qualities of a Stong Healthy Relationship

Relationships of all kinds can propel us or hold us back. This article goes over 5 qualities that I have found are present in all solid and healthy relationships.

Are your relationships healthy? At their best, relationships- intimate, familial, amicable, and business- should serve the purpose of helping you realize or achieve something you desire. At their best, relationships are an equal balance of giving and taking. 


However, sometimes- despite our best intentions- things can get confusing or go completely awry.  So, suppose you find yourself in a relationship where there is more give on one side, and more take on the other, or you start to notice a reoccurring theme of mistreatment. In that case, it is a red flag that maintaining that relationship may not be in your best interest. 


I know and understand the burden of that kind of decision. I have been there before. I know all about the confusion, trying to fix it, taking the blame, crying, and the pure exhaustion of it all. Thank God I made it through.  I also know the strength, love, and laughter- to name a few- characteristics of solid relationships. So, to assist you with the weighty push-pull of investing or cutting your losses, I have outlined five qualities of healthy, fruitful relationships so you can make an informed decision for your life. 


These five qualities are not all-inclusive and should not be the determining factor in making any decision. If you need assistance working through relationship issues, consider booking a session with me. For right now, the five qualities I outlined below can serve as guides to those who are unsure of what a healthy relationship entails. Apply it as you see fit and disregard the rest. 


  1. Relationships Serve a Purpose 


All relationships- intimate, familial, amicable, and business- should serve the purpose of helping you realize or achieve something you desire. All strong relationships have to require nurturing. They need time and attention. They are an investment, and the pay-off is an improved quality of life for everyone involved. We all have dreams, goals, and to-do lists representing our highest ideals and the route we want to take to realize those ideals. Relationships should assist with that. At the very least, relationships should support that.  Healthy relationships take the investment and double it. That is because usually, healthy people have many kinds of relationships in their dream. So, the investment is not lost. Not only because of the human connections that provide an overflow of understanding, support, knowledge, love, encouragement but also for the experience and knowledge. Good relationships help with character development. So, if your relationship isn’t serving a purpose, you are trading off your future in all actuality. 


  1.  They Do Not Include Abuse Of Any Kind


Abuse is reoccurring cruelty or violence. The types of abuse are: emotional, mental, physical, financial, sexual, and identity. All abuse involves the misuse of trust and authority. Emotional abuse is usually present with other kinds of abuse. Abuse intends to hurt, manipulate, intimidate, and keep the abuser in control.  Abusive relationships destruct everything in their path. It is not normal, and it is not okay. They shred your self-esteem and mutate the very core of who you are. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, know it is not your fault. Abusive relationships are incredibly complex, and there is usually more than one form of abuse present. Remember, the point of relationships is to improve the quality of your life. Anything outside of that, you can and should walk away. 


  1. There is Love

 Love is an emotion that is mainly expressed through intimacy, passion, and commitment.  

It involves care, protection, trust, and affection, amongst other things. It is the highest form of joy that a human can feel. It also helps the people in the relationship form a secure bond: they know they can depend on each other. So when you experience hurt- that is not love. You are experiencing hurt which, is unique to every person, has different levels of intensity, and should not be confused with abuse.

Now, there is no such thing as a perfect, disagreement-free relationship. Humans are not perfect so, there will be mistakes and stalemates with anything involving humans. However, love doesn’t hurt except in situations where it is not expressed correctly. Since we are all a work in progress, even when there is love, there can also be other emotions that are not so joyous. The good news is, love is the inspiration for many feelings, two being forgiveness and determination to be happy with one another. Healthy relationships must have love. 


  1. There is a Balance of Giving and Taking: Reciprocity


 Life is not easy, so there will be times when you need someone to act as a support to get through those moments. The relationships you built will be a support to you to get you through those hard times. Some many principles and sayings support the idea of reciprocity. You reap what you sow is a common one that says the effort or treachery you put in is equal to the reward or consequence. So, when you give to a relationship, you should be able to receive from that relationship. That is not the same as keeping score or doing something for a person to get a response- both of those things are a form of manipulation and have no place in healthy, loving connections. Instead, the give and take are natural because both persons are whole in the relationship. Meaning, they can handle their own chaos without burdening their partner and have the ability and maturity to notice when the other person in the relationship needs a helping hand. This leads me to my last quality, independence. 


  1. Your Independence is Supported and Helps the Relationship Thrive


Independence means not being dependent on anything for survival or happiness. It means being who you are. It means making choices for yourself without outside influences. When you are in a healthy relationship, you do not have to let go of the things and people that bring you joy. You will also explore new things. There is appreciation and respect. Independence helps the relationship because people need to learn, grow and change with life. When people have separate lives and come together, that is a choice as well. Choosing and knowing you are being chosen creates a stable foundation for reciprocity and interest. It also makes those memories created all the more precious.  


In conclusion, Relationships are precious, and all relationships teach us. The best relationships make us better people or at the very least awaken us to the need that we should be better people. They have a purpose, are a source of love, balance, support our independence, and do not include abuse.  They are an investment that can touch the world in numerous ways. How does your relationship match up?




Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

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