Beautiful Black Man

This is a heartfelt letter to all of the men of the world but especially the Black Men. WARNING: The contents of this letter come from the guidance and direction of a Higher Power other than myself, please read with a heightened level of maturity. Viewer discretion is advised.

Dear Beautiful Black Man, 

I want you to know I see you. I see you on your job or in your purpose everyday working hard to earn a living for you and your family.

I hear your silence and I see your un-cried tears as you throw yourself into overtime at work in a cowardly attempt to escape the realities of domestic life.

Dear Beautiful Black Man, I love you. I love the way your face lights up when you are present for the birth of your first born and also the way you give yourself permission to grieve over the death of a family member.

Dear beautiful Black Man I want you to know that I hear your silenced cry as the day goes by and your sigh because of your unexpressed pain.

The pain that is energetically transferred from the stains of your ejaculatory disdain, oh yes my brother, that pain. The pain, the pain, the pain.

The pain of longing for a father’s single “attaboy” when all you get is a ‘no son, you’re not doing it right” if that at all. Words so cold make you want to curl up like a turtle back into its shell.

Beautiful Black Man I want you to know I see you.

I see you laboring on a job that does not bring you true fulfillment, that does not allow you to tap into your gifts and talents that will allow you to discover your purpose in life.

Beautiful Black Man, I see you.

I see you struggling with whether or not to leave the street life and go fully legit because well, you see no other way.

I see you. 

I see you hopping in and out of beds more times than the sun rises and sets chasing a bottomless pit of sorrow and grief.

Beautiful Black Man I see you.

I see you and I wish you could see you too. I wish you could see your own worthiness. I wish you could see the greatness that is within you. I wish you could see and know your physical strength and aggressiveness is for the protection and safety of the woman and children not to harm them.

I wish you could see and know that your strength is not in your bravado, but rather it is in your gentleness. It is in your ability to speak calmly and affectionately to those whom you love and to save the physical strength and increased tone for when your kingdom is actually threatened by an intruder including yourself.

Beautiful Black Man you are not lost, misguided maybe but you are not lost. Your steps have been divinely ordered. Everything that you have experienced up until this point has led you to this moment. The moment where you must come face to face with the man in the mirror. 

Beautiful Black Man it is because I love you that I must tell you this painful truth. Say no more to engaging in temporary and unfulfilling sexual conquests in an immature attempt to score points with those whom are just as much misguided as you are.

Say no more to engaging in reckless behavior and activities that stem from emotional abandonment; pornography, gambling, sexual addiction, infidelity, smoking, drinking, pick your vice. These things are not supporting you in your journey into manhood. They are harming your Spirit Man and are road blocks in your journey into manhood.

Black Men wake up!

Be courageous enough to be the only one in your circle to change the narrative about manhood. That is true strength and power because then my Beautiful Black Brother you are leading by example but it must begin with you.

Black man look in the mirror and tell me what you see, look closely now, look deep beneath the superficial surface of your retina and tell me what you see. If it is anything other than love, Black man you’ve got work to do and Black Man you don’t have to do it alone for you are never alone.

Long before the sperm met the egg Black Man you were never alone. You live and breathe in an abundant Universe that is always providing for you. Beautiful Black Man someone else had a vision that people would wear rags and cloth that would one day bear the names and images of the clothing you wear so unless you hand sewed the clothes you wear, Black Man, you are not alone.

Someone had the thought to produce lumber from trees to build nice and extravagant homes that would one day provide you with shelter. Beautiful Black Man unless you produced the lumber yourself, you are not alone.

Beautiful Black Man there is a farmer somewhere growing food that you eat…you are not alone.

Beautiful Black Man there is an animal somewhere being slaughtered right now so that you can have your meat on Super Bowl Sunday and the playoffs. You are not alone.

Beautiful Black Man look around you at the many inventions of the things you use most often and even those you do not. Did you create any of them? Then I say to you Beautiful Black Man, you are NOT alone.

Beautiful Black Man you can count on me to speak life when you feel hopeless as a result of telling yourself there is no reason for living.

Beautiful Black Man you can count on me to preserve and protect your dignity as a man while sternly holding you accountable.

Because Beautiful Black Man, there is no thing in life that you cannot escape. You may delay them through your own choices in life but your innate responsibility as a man is one of those things that you cannot afford to escape.

Beautiful Black Man please understand that it is not the size of your penis that determines how much of a man you are, but if you are going to deduce who you are to an organ let it be the most powerful organ in the human body-your heart.

Your heart. Beautiful Black Man, please understand that it is not the number of women you do or don’t sleep with that determine how much of a man you are; nor is it how many times you engage in outside sexual activity while in a committed relationship and marriage that determines how much of a man you are. 

Beautiful Black Man, it certainly is not how many times you degrade and disrespect women all because of your self-hate when you begin to learn of and see the greatness of strength and power that that women possess. 

Beautiful Black Man it is not about the number of times you are able to test a woman and get away with it. That is nothing more than an immature and rebellious attempt to foolishly loose the internal battle with yourself that you so blindly project outward.

Beautiful Black Man I challenge you to look in the mirror and ask the person staring back at you is he pleased with what he sees. Is he living up to the principles and attributes of a man or is he still matriculating through boyhood? Beautiful Black Man I love you. But manhood is a choice, it is a decision that one must make within himself to either go through or grow through. So I urge you, choose for your highest, greatest and most valuable Self. It is because I love you that I must tell you these painful truths.

I want you to know that I see you and I still love you. I love you because I know that one day when you see what I see in you. You will step up and see the greatness within you that I see and that awareness although painful at first will be the fuel that is needed to propel you forward for your journey into manhood. Beautiful Black Man I see you and I love you.   

Black Father, what is the condition of your household? Are your kids thriving in every area of their lives- physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Is your wife or their mother walking around with a glow on her face? Can you even tell? Are your boys inspired enough to be like you or to be better than you? Does your little girl know that what she has is precious and should only be shared with the right man who is deserving of it? What example have you set for how she is to be treated by a man? Does your little girl know the difference between “good touch and bad touch?” This is 2021, do your boys also know the difference between “good touch and bad touch?”

Do your boys understand how girls are to be treated and respected? Based on how you treat their mother, what example have you set? What values and principles are you consistently living in alignment with that they are following? Because Beautiful Black Man whether you know it or not, our Beautiful Black Boys are watching and learning from you and your actions, not your words. Beautiful Black Man do not leave it up to their friends showing pictures and sharing stories in high school bathrooms of how to treat little girls. Beautiful Black Man, do not leave it up to social media to influence and reality shows to shape their perceptions of what it means to be a man, let your actions be the shining and honorable example of what it means to be a man.

Beautiful Black Man you cannot afford to allow your family’s legacy to go unknown and unnoticed. Get on board with your wife and sit the family down together and begin to build a legacy. Ellicit the thoughts, support, and feelings of all those involved. Hear everyone out and share together, let everyone have a voice and you be the one to present it to the appropriate person(s). 

That is what true leadership looks like. It doesn’t have to be 100% your idea, but you must acknowledge the voices of those around you and hear them out. Sometimes as the leader you may also be called to be the support system- the foundation upon which everything is built. And if you look at it from a physical building perspective, you know that the foundation is what holds everything up and you don’t even get to see it!

Black Father when people look at your family, they should see a strong and healthy mother and kids because the foundation although not seen should be strong and healthy. But in order to get there my Beautiful Beautiful Black Man you must heal. Heal those childhood wounds and hurts. Stop putting a band-aid of alcohol and drugs on a whole the shape of your father. Stop putting a band-aid of promiscuity and bravado on a whole the shape of your mother. Dig deep and do the emotional and spiritual surgery on your soul that is required to heal those childhood and sometimes adulthood wounds so that the emotional and spiritual foundation upon which your family is standing on is solid and secure and can even withstand a 9.5 earthquake.

Black Father, whether you are aware or not, your kids are a divine reflection of you. They are looking up to you for their next step and they will be what they see consciously or unconsciously. Black Father, your family will be what the foundation is, so if you look at your family and things are not as you would like them to be then Black Man you’ve got to check yourself before you reck yourself, swallow your ego and your pride and open your heart. Be mature enough to perform an honest self-evaluation and ask yourself, “Where can I improve so that my family improves?

And ladies if your man comes to you to help him to perform this evaluation please understand that it may be difficult for him so be understanding of that, ask questions and hold him accountable. 

Black Father, that’s accountability and responsibility. That’s how you begin to build healthy families that produce healthy communities. It begins with one person who consciously decides to take responsibility for their actions and as a result/ their family which is a part of the community which is a part of a city, which is a part of a state, which is a part of a country which affects the whole nation. It all begins with 1 healthy individual.

Black man I hear your excuses and I say to you, What are you going to do about that? Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised. If today is the present what is your gift? What are you gifting with the time you have today? What are you building? What are you leaving behind? What is your legacy? What do you want to be known for? How do you wish to build? How do you want to grow? What do you want to grow? What do you need to grow?

Beautiful Black Man ask for what you want, need, and desire. The Universe is filled with an abundant supply of all things you ask for if only you would ask and believe. I get the logic Beautiful Black Man, how can you believe in something you can’t see, feel, or touch? I get it but Beautiful Black Man, Martin Luther King died before seeing his dream come true. You’re still alive. What are you going to do with the time you have left?

Give up the story that “the man” is out to get you, give up the story that “aint nobody tryna help nobody that’s been to prison.” If you’re out, you’re only out physically, do the work to free yourself mentally and create your own business if you don’t want to go out and work for someone else. Give up the story that “she cheated and broke your heart so now you have convinced yourself that all women are cheaters or women cheat more than men. Beautiful Black Man GIVE UP THE STORY!”

Give up the story that she’s just going to spend all of the child support money on herself while your children starve and take complete accountability for your role in the creation of the child’s life. If it’s that big of an issue, make your payments because that’s required of you and save your receipts. Then when that child becomes of age and they come to you with hatred and rage you can sit them down and speak to them on an adult level and show them the receipts. But until then Beautiful Black Man, BE RESPONSIBLE and do what’s required of you.

Beautiful Black Man you were already born with 2 strikes against you. Be responsible and accountable, stay focused on you and you attract into your life people that are a match for you and be willing to lose and walk away from those who are not.

Beautiful Black Man you are much too gifted and talented to be engaging in behaviors that are beneath you. Behaviors that are an indirect reflection of who you really are. Beautiful Black Man just because your friends are doing it doesn’t make it right. Be courageous enough to walk away and disengage in behaviors that don’t serve you.

Be courageous enough to walk away from those who don’t bring out the best in you and if you’re unsure, I challenge you to make the statement that you no longer desire to participate and see how they respond. But Black Man, you already know so stop lying to yourself.

Stop lying to yourself and lying to these women. You know you already got from her what you wanted. You know she is not the one. You knew that within the first 30 days, so stop leading her on. Let her go so you BOTH can grow and begin to attract the right person or person(s) for each of you. She is not it and you know this Black Man, so stop it. Stop telling your multiple conquests to “just be loyal” when you aren’t even loyal to manhood.

Beautiful Black Man, you are better than that, you are stronger than that. Beautiful Black Man it is with a stern heart that I say to you…whether you want to acknowledge it or not, YOU are RESPOND-sible for how YOU respond to what happens for you rather than what happens to you.

So I urge you, take RESPOND-sibility for how you respond to the external events of your life. Will it be hard? It will be as hard as you make it. Will it be challenging? It will challenge you to bring out the best in you. Will it be painful? Well, growth usually is. But guess what Beautiful Black Man, slavery was painful, it was hard but look at you today. Your ancestors fought so that you wouldn’t have to. Beautiful Black Man you’ve made it this far, so that’s proof that you were built for this.

How else are you supposed to show off your greatness if it is not tried and tested? So stand up to yourself and for yourself and be a positive demonstration for this next generation. They are looking at you to leave behind for them something to hold onto. Leave so much behind for them that when it’s their turn there’s little to nothing left for them to do because you’ve done so much.

So, rather than taking all of your anger and frustration out on the greatness of that which you really fear in that of the opposite sex put it toward your giftedness so that you can begin to birth your purpose in life rather than wrapping it in a bow of excuses. Be RESPOND-sible for how you respond to your life experiences Beautiful Black Man because you really are.

Beautiful Black Man, your ancestors are living proof of what you can do when you put your mind toward something productive in life. So again Beautiful Black Man, I urge you to take RESPOND-sibility for your life moving forward and make choices that will honor and support your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, and also what will support the truth of who you really are which is Love. Because Beautiful Black Man, you were built for this. Thank You, I love you and as always Do You Work!

 

Signed,

 A Beautiful Black Woman

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email