"What they did to you, had little to do with you"

Betrayal is one of the greatest losses a person can experience in a relationship. Betrayal happens when someone intentionally violates our trust or confidence. Being betrayed is a deeply painful and devastating experience that can leave us emotionally scared. It helps to understand that: what someone did to you, has little to do with you.  

As humans we want to understand and make sense of things. We put effort into reasoning and understanding things that are often unreasonable. You will find healing sooner if you shift your focus from what a person did to you, to what you need to do for yourself now that you know the truth. Don’t waste your energy trying to figure out why someone hurt you. People often hurt others out of their own misery and pain. Figure out what you need at the moment. Don’t base your decisions on your emotions or fears. You deserve trustworthy and honest people in your life. Assess the situation and decide if the relationship is truly worth saving. If it is, ask yourself why. After suffering betrayal you will need alone time to process things and make sound decisions. After betrayal never let a person blame you or convince you to continue a relationship with them if that’s not what is best for you. They hurt you and you get to decide what happens from here on out, not them.

The worst thing you can do after a betrayal is to betray yourself by allowing another person to pressure you into forgiving them. Forgiveness is a gift that can only be given, not taken. Listen to your intuition, because it’s usually never wrong. You may find that the pain of continuing a relationship is too great after betrayal, and that’s okay. What’s important is doing what’s best for you. I know this can be scary, but you’ll never regret loving yourself by making choices that are right for you.

If you’ve been betrayed and are struggling with how to move forward, book a coaching call with me and let me help you. You are not alone. You will overcome this. Life will get better. Let’s do this together!

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