BOUNDARIES EA F

BOUNDARIES 🛣️

Boundary 🛣️ - a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line. Synonyms: border, limit, cutoff point, divide, barrier 🚧, threshold, perimeter, edge, margin, partition, frontier etc. Myth: Boundaries 🛣️ are BAD because they keep people apart, prevent communication and intimacy.

Boundaries go both ways positive ◀️ & ▶️ negative and can be used as protection from harm or manipulation/harassment. Boundaries are utilized for various relationships whether romantic, with friends, including family & work interactions. It is very important to:

1.) Define (What are My Boundaries?)

2.) Set (What will I allow or disallow in relationships)

3.) Enforce (How will I assert myself and make My Boundaries known to others that I am in relationship with)

4 Types of Boundaries 

1. Material: includes personal belongings and involves time and services. Ex: using someone’s truck to Move 🚛.       

2. Physical: includes space which can involve intimate👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 , personal 👫, and social🗣️.

3. Mental: includes thoughts 💭, values, opinions, beliefs 🤔.

4. Emotional: includes identity and awareness of feelings & choices. 

– 1st Define Boundaries by asking yourself What & Who upsets or offends me? Why?

– 2nd Set Boundaries by choosing to be assertive and not aggressive. Aggression can stem from bottled up anger 😠 and cause people to lash out. 

– If you are easily offended: Work on that 1st because there is likely a root of insecurity that needs to be  dealt with and plucked up from the root.

– Be sure to not only tell what you are saying No to, but also what you are saying Yes to. Ex: “I am not available this weekend but I am available next weekend because I would really like to help you move” 🚛.

* Material = “If you can’t say No to others you’re saying NO to yourself.” (YOU MATTER TOO!)

* Physical = State I would feel more comfortable waving (social space) or shaking hands (personal space) verses hugging (intimate space). 

* Mental = Ex: Someone attacking you for your thoughts 💭, values, opinions, and beliefs 🤔 etc.

* Emotional = Ex: Someone saying, ” I know I messed up but if you love me or as a Christian you have to forgive and forget.”

– Self-Love & Self-Respect is vital so never  apologize or make excuses for  Your Boundaries. (STAND YOUR GROUND & DON’T BACK 🔙 DOWN ⬇️)

– 3rd Enforcing Boundaries is critical because we teach people how to treat us.

* Those who intend to violate Your Boundaries are attempting to exert control and dominance over you by pushing back in order to make you stand down ⬇️ and abandon you Boundary(ies). 

– Don’t worry about being liked.

– Script Sample: ” I know that you are accustomed to ________________yet I would prefer ___________________ instead.

{Be advised that “Not knowing what healthy relationships might make it hard to know what is healthy and what good behavior is.”}

References   

Crossroads Indy.com

crossroadsindy.com/counseling-blog-/couples-and-marriage/boundaries-definition-and-types-of-boundaries

 

 

 

 

 

 

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