BOUNDARIES A

BOUNDARIES ARE HEALTHY

Are you guilty of putting your friends or family before yourself?  Do you adjust your boundaries to do so?  Of course, it is important to serve others, but giving too much may make you resentful or ill.  Only give as much as you are comfortable.  Check-in with yourself, pay attention to the fine line between pleasing someone else and how it makes you feel.  If it doesn’t feel good, you know you have hit the limit.

There will be times when you are not in the mood but you chose to make an effort to help someone else.  At those times, be clear and state your boundaries ahead of time or at the point of acceptance.

Remember you can better support your friend, family member, or partner if you don’t take on their problem as if it was your own.  If you are taking over their problem you are robbing them of the opportunity to grown.  

Maybe you know someone who calls you all the time to talk about the same problem. Perhaps they are asking for help, but to you, it feels like they are not doing anything to change the situation.  All you need to do is listen and be there to support and hold and love, without trying to come up with a solution or attempting to fix their problems.  They are experiencing their problems to help them grow or build strength.

If you have hit a wall and cannot hear it anymore, be honest, and tell them.  You can say, “I love you, but I don’t love this situation for you and it is hard for me to talk to you about it right now.” They may take offense but that should be short-lived because they need to focus on solving their problem.  In hindsight, they will thank you because they will feel the growth in their own life.  Your goal is to stay steady and faithful to what you need to look after yourself.  It is okay to be selfish when it preserves your peace

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