In life we dredge along with mundane tasks, existing in and missing out on living because of what we’ve been taught, think we should do, because it’s what has always worked, and a mindset of, I just don’t know what else to do. Often we hide the fact that we are failing at life miserably. And because we all are going through things, we aren’t aware of the people around us and how they are falling apart. Many are able to hide it well and some just become totally unglued.
We’re afraid that if it all crashed, we won’t know what to do, how to recover, what people will think of us, what they will say, who will stop dealing with me and things that truly have no bearing on how well we do in our lives. We sometimes let the outside forces of our lives dictate how we go about our lives creating unrealistic demands that we will never meet. When living to please those around us and not doing what’s best for “you”, eventually things start to cave in on you, inevitably causing you to give, losing what you have grown to believe as stability.
Despite what we’ve seen from others, heard or even been taught, a breakdown can be what we need to create a breakthrough. We’re often so afraid of how to start over, asking, what do I do, who’s going to help me? Breaking down allows you to see all of the moving parts, determine when one or more needs to be removed, what need to be altered or changed and what has to be added to start anew.
Going back to the basics and rebuilding from what’s working can and will get you farther in life than all that added to please others.
When rebuilding, it’s an opportunity to see the real you and exactly what things about yourself you need to change to be able to go forward, be stronger; to be open minded with a new outlook and a totally different way of being. Removing yourself from the toxicity of people, bad habits and environments that have created your being stagnant is key to overcoming life crises.
Another necessity is to do what’s necessary to rebuild your confidence in yourself. That may include cutting off people who “claim” to be in your corner, but always has something negative or challenging to say when you share your thoughts, goals and vision. That may include distancing yourself from family members who are takers and never a giver. Whether it’s tangible things such as food, money and other things. It also includes the intangible things, such as time; always needing you to do something for them, to listen to them vent but never reciprocating the act for you. These people will drain your energy and time leaving you deflated and not able to do what you need for yourself. Let them go, or deal with them when you have the time and energy. Also let them know that you’re working on you and don’t have enough of you for the both. Put yourself first!
Many times when things start to fall apart we tend to accept it and allow it do just that, breakdown. When things are falling apart, use this as an opportunity to make a change. Change is very difficult for some and some may change too often. In either circumstance, when it all seems to be falling apart, find one thing that has affected you and do what you’ve been putting off or always wished you could. It could be as small as de-cluttering your closet, a room or your home, give/donate to someone who can use the items that have just been taking up space. Research and find a book to read related to what you need to make a change in. Read job descriptions and update your resume to become attractable to recruiters. Help someone else who is going through a situation, talking can create ideas your mind may be closed off to. Use it to regain inner peace. Determine if your friends are there to support your come up or ride the pity train and keep you down. Also determine if they are offering you help or solutions, or reminding you of what you did wrong.
Evaluate how you got where you are
Create a plan to make changes
Participate in one change at a time implementing your plan
When you get rid of that which is just taking up space in your life, you gain a renewing spirit. This can and will lead to other changes. Falling apart is a chance to regroup and rebuild. This time unfortunately may be the only way a change occurs, the universe’s way of giving you the nudge that it’s time to go for what your heart desires. Some doors that don’t open for you, is nothing more than divine protection.