Choose Change

" my change meant more......."

Those 2 words are simple; not complex in definition, easy to say and provides clear direction & intention. You would think with so much simplicity and ease, it would be just as easily done but NOT SO.

For as long as I can remember (teenage years), I have wanted, even prayed to be different from who I am. I wanted to be different from my parents, wanted to be different from my family & friends, was not happy with me. I felt like what was in front of me, was not where I desired to go however, I did not know what I wanted or where to go. I did not see my way out or how I would get there.

It is easier said than done, to choose change. I have thought about this concept of choosing to change a lot. I thought , “if I could just be pretty enough, if I could just be smart enough, if I could just be popular enough, if I could just be allowed to do what everyone else was doing, if I could just be consistent, if I could just not be poor/ broke, if I could just be strong enough to not care what others think, if I could just be the person thought of first & not last or never, if I could just be the right thing at the right time, oh how my life would change.

I wanted change so bad that I began to see everything that I was, as not good enough. My internal language became terribly negative and my outlook on things became finite in the negative. Was this the change I really wanted? Was this the benefit of the change was looking for?


Once I came to the realization that this is not what I had in mind, I decided. And so, it began. I started doing things differently. When I had negative thoughts, I did my best to say/do something to counter those pessimistic thoughts. I decided that I wanted change that felt good to me. I decided that I would be okay with wherever my path/ journey would take me. I decided that fear would not be the reason I did not show up. I decided that I wanted change more than negativity. I decided that my change meant more than what people thought of me.[KH5]  I decided that even if I were the only person that believed in me, I would keep going. I decided to no longer view change as necessary because something was wrong, therefore needing a change to make it right. I decided to choose to change because I wanted to be the best version of me.

You see, I discovered that choosing change was about first making the decision, then accepting me. Choosing change is about discovering who you are & what you have to offer, so you see what really needs to change. Choosing to change, means loving every aspect of yourself before finding things that might be imperfect. Choosing change means understanding your current mindset.

If you find yourself connecting to a small portion of my story, let us Connect, Discover & Conquer!


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