I graduated college with a Bachelor's Degree in Print Journalism from Bowie State University in 2011. Not really sure what I wanted to do in life, I went from job to job and also from relationship to relationship. I was lost and confused, which caused me to choose the wrong men. As a result, I have faced quite a few ups and downs. I found myself in a very toxic, abusive relationship for 5 years. I am a healer, and I thought that I could heal him. I saw his hurt and pain from his childhood, and how it was causing him to act out aggressively towards those closest to him. What I didn't realize was that by staying with him, I was doing more harm than good. The relationship finally took it's toll on me and I was able to muster up the courage and leave. I decided that I had to love myself more than I loved him. Knowing your worth and valuing yourself sets the stage for positive outcomes to take place. I realized that out of my desperation for love, I had let go of my standards, which caused me to always be hurt and disappointed. Enough was enough! Recognizing that I deserved better, and not to take anything less, was the difference maker. I also had a great support system backing me up. Close family and friends held me accountable when I wanted to go back to that relationship. After all, leaving a 5 year relationship was hard! Having that support, allowed me to pick myself up and to never look back. That is what accountability does, and why it is so important to have. When I began to concentrate on being the best version of me, that's when true freedom began to take place. My journey has allowed me to learn and grow from my mistakes, and now I am able to help others and offer that same support and accountability they need, in order to heal and have real change in their lives.
I Became a Life Coach
I became a Life Coach because often times my friends and family come to me for advice. The feeling that I receive after I've inspired or helped them with their problems is unlike any other feeling in the world. It's purposeful knowing that I am making a difference in their lives, but why should it stop there? There are so many people who don't really have anyone to talk to about their goals, ideas, problems etc. I want to be a listening ear and offer guidance to anyone who needs it. I used to think of ways that I can help people in the most effective way. I tossed up ideas of becoming a doctor or a nurse because in these professions, you see people helped the most. But the good Lord didn't see fit to give me an authentic desire for the medical field. When I began to know who I truly am and what I am already naturally gifted in, I knew that I was already equipped to work this purpose driven gift. Many people are struggling in relationships. When we think about relationships, we usually only think about romantic relationships, but relationships are simply how two or more items are connected. Healthy, romantic relationships are important, but it is also important to have successful friendships, business relationships, and family relationships. As a coach, my goal is to help people navigate their relationships, implement self love as their norm, and overcome and discover life after a breakup.
“In order to change the narrative, you have to change your perspective.
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“Relationships are hard. I think one of the hardest things to do is leave a relationship, despite still being in love with the person. If you are like me, you have also found this to be a constant struggle. I’d eventually reach the point of no return (ready to leave and not come back), but not until I was emotionally ready. This would result in a lot of wasted time, money and energy. Over the years, I had to ask myself, why do I stay, when I know that I need to leave?”
“Now, where am I going with all of this light vs. dark stuff? I’m referencing that four letter word that so many people try to shy away from, and it has been the answer since the beginning, love. It is time that we get back to the basic concept of love. We are trying to fight hate with hate, and it only breeds more hate. Other cultures don’t see our value, because we don’t see our value. We are abandoning our children, beating our women, and killing our brothers, and other races are watching. I know that people hate to hear this, it’s the truth, change starts with us! We have been fighting a system for centuries that was created to tear us down. Nothing has worked. We’ve marched peacefully. We’ve rioted. We’ve boycotted. We’ve protested. We’ve kneeled. But have we tried love? Have we shown other cultures that we love our own?”
“Culture paints a picture that we don’t have to work for anything any more. Every week or so, there is an untalented person trending on line for some wack song that he or she created in the bathroom, while sitting on the toilet. Women get their bodies done, and then post pictures of them in the gym, as if that’s how they achieved their bodies. Or, people troll celebrities on social media in order to get clout or recognized in some way. Nobody sees the importance of hard work, and the same has been true in relationships. People stop working to please their partners because they feel that they shouldn’t have to work. It’s an illusion. Anything that you want to last and is worth having requires work, and it is in our relationships that we suffer the most damage as a result of this deceit.”
“Who is Mr. Right Now? Mr. Right Now is the guy that you have been holding on to and you know that he is not the one for you. He is inconsistent. He’s a cheater, a manipulator, a liar, a taker not a giver. He’s disrespectful, and verbally and or physically abusive. He has at least one or all of those toxic traits, and he has to go!”
“Hey girl, hey! It is #WCW (Women Crush Wednesday), and if you have gone all day without crushing on yourself, I don’t know what you have been doing! Often times, as women, we are our own worse critics. We don’t like our hair, our butt, our hips, our skin etc, yet we look to others to make us feel good about ourselves. Stop! It is o.k. to accept compliments and things like that from other people, but we need to be our own favorite cheerleaders.”
“Today is the beginning of a new week. Let’s tap into the power that God has given us to conquer the circumstances that stand in our way. I know that it’s easier said than done, but we first have to be honest about what it is that we are facing. God can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. Remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made for a reason, and as long as we stay connected to Him, there is no-thing that He hasn’t given you the power to overcome. This is something that we have to constantly remind ourselves, especially during this crazy season in our world’s history. But one day, it will be just that, history!”
It’s time for some of us to do some self reflecting and keep it 100 with ourselves. This is the perfect time to do so, because many of us have only been left with time during this season of quarantine life. Use it to become who you know that you were made to be. Relationships are important, but the best relationship that you can have, outside of God, is the one that you have with yourself. So let’s do the work that needs to be done on the inside, so that we can stop entering into these 50/50 relationships and start being blessed with 100/100 relationships.
“Ladies, I don’t know about you but I’m tired! Actually, I was tired of being sick and tired! It may surprise you that it wasn’t the guys that I was tired of. They prompted my frustration but I was tired of me. I’m good now, but I realized I was the one setting myself up for failure in relationships. I was naively hoping for a different outcome, while doing the same thing over and over again. That’s insanity, literally.”
“To get what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done. It wasn’t until I decided that if I wanted different, I had to do different. Taking matters into my own hands hadn’t been working, and it was time to give it all over to Jesus. Sometimes you receive this “ah-ha,” moment when nothing is going as planned, or you hit rock bottom. I encountered a little bit of both. I took a big leap of faith when I moved across the country, with the expectation to be propelled straight into my destiny, but God had other plans. He wanted me to be still. If I wanted a different outcome, I had to rely on Him. He dissolved relationships, friendships, and career opportunities, so that I would focus on Him. It was the most difficult thing that I had ever experienced. It’s funny because even in all of my frustration, I wasn’t mad at Him because in my heart, I knew what He was doing. He was after my trust, and patience requires trust. I wanted to do life God’s way, but I was constantly being pulled in the other direction because of my impatience and lack of trust. All of the distractions had been taken away. Now It was just He and I.”
Life is passing us by and many of us are feeling stuck in our relationships, friendships, careers, etc. I have been there, and I am still figuring it out, but going to God about being stuck, helped me to become unstuck. Instead of relying on your own strength, talk to God about it. There are promises attached to your name. It is time to LEVEL UP!
Life is filled with uncertainties, causing many of us to be paralyzed by worry and fear. While worrying is a natural response to things that are sometimes out of our control, it does not help our circumstances, it only makes them worse. Shifting your perspective by focusing more on the things that are going right in your life can have a positive impact on the things that are going wrong. So Don’t Worry, Be Happy!