Combating Loneliness

Considering that most of us are quarantining right now due to the COVID 19 pandemic, it isn’t difficult to become lonely. If you live with a spouse or significant other, generally speaking this may not apply to you and in some cases, it still may apply. When we are alone, if our minds and hearts are not in the right space, we may engage in activities that we usually would not (such as binge eating). In other cases, we may reach out to people who we have not spoken to in years/months, which can be good if that person means well. However, in some cases, women and men will reach out to a person from the past that has done nothing but bring pain and confusion into their life.

I speak from experience because I have certainly done this before. I went through a period of severe loneliness and not only did I binge eat, I also texted men that I had no business even thinking about. I was young and still finding myself, so I forgive myself.

One of my goals is to help my fellow sisters and brothers realize that if we keep looking back while trying to drive forward, we will eventually crash. I once heard a speaker online mention a very similar analogy. Essentially the speaker said that our rearview mirror is small because its sole purpose is to glance at to see how far we’ve come. Our windshield, on the other hand, is much larger and is in front of us so that we can see the road and drive FORWARD. That really resonated with me. The point is, it is okay to take a glance at the past and think about a person. However, it is unhealthy to try and rekindle old relationships that we know without a shadow of a doubt serve us no good, especially if the friendship, relationship, or business deal ended badly. That is a clear indication that you should be moving forward and not looking back. 

I also understand that sometimes out of loneliness we engage in unhealthy habits like binge eating, getting drunk, posting excessively on social media, or watching provocative things on television or the internet. If you are one of those people, please know that I am not here to judge. I have done that also. I have certainly engaged in unhealthy habits out of loneliness. I overcame them by developing new habits and saying “No!” to myself. You can do it too, but you must put in the work. Putting in work may sound intimidating, but it’s not. Putting in work simply means that you must try to do something different and healthier from what you’ve done in the past.  

Here are some things I recommend you do to combat loneliness and remain healthy & productive:

Develop a new hobby

Work on towards your fitness, business, career/professional, or academic goals

Create a journal and begin writing down how you feel OR you can write down your new goals & aspirations

Teach yourself how to cook new, fun dishes!

Read something new. It does not have to be a chapter book; it can be a magazine or online blog subscription. Whatever it is that you read, PUT SOMETHING NEW & POSITIVE IN YOUR BRAIN. It really helps combat loneliness.

Make time for your spiritual/mental health. Rather this consists of praying, meditating, reading The Word of God, do something that feeds your spirit.

***LOVE ON YOURSELF! Dance, soak in the tub, pick out a few new outfits that you can wear to a future event, give yourself a facial (MEN included; Your skin is important also). We must always be giving ourselves love and this can be done in several ways. Be create with how you love YOU!

If you incorporate these activities into your day (during the quarantine or after the quarantine) you will begin to thrive mentally and be set free from your thoughts and feelings of loneliness.

The healing is in putting GENIUNE SUBSTANCE INTO YOURSELF.

Remember this: Healing begins with new habits

With Love,

Veronica J.