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Dating With The Purpose Of Marriage and Building Generational Wealth for Women

"Woman A: who is the man on the couch?" "Woman B: He is my ex." "Woman A: What about the man I saw with you last week?" "Woman B: He is my ex also." Many women have dated for years without having a partner to point to as their life partner. Do you know why? It is because they are dating without the purpose of getting married. Dating can certainly be fun and exciting but doing so without intention or concern for the future is a recipe for disappointment. Our hearts are not meant to be broken, and anyone who has found themselves in that unfortunate situation can attest to the pain and frustration it causes. Dating and marriage both involve inherent risks, but those risks can be minimized when the pursuit of another is not reckless and the parties involved are intentional with their actions.

“Woman A: who is the man on the couch?”

 

“Woman B: He is my ex.” “Woman A: What about the man I saw with you last week?”

 

“Woman B: He is my ex also.” 

 

Many women have dated for years without having a partner to point to as their life partner. Do you know why? It is because they are dating without the purpose of getting married. Dating can certainly be fun and exciting but doing so without intention or concern for the future is a recipe for disappointment.

 

Our hearts are not meant to be broken, and anyone who has found themselves in that unfortunate situation can attest to the pain and frustration it causes. Dating and marriage both involve inherent risks, but those risks can be minimized when the pursuit of another is not reckless and the parties involved are intentional with their actions.

 

Purpose

Establishing your purpose for dating from the very beginning will help to eliminate a variety of uncomfortable and downright painful situations before they even arise. Full disclosure, I passionately believe that the goal of dating is marriage, as I think dating provides a time to get to know another and make a well-informed decision regarding whether that person is someone you could spend forever with. 

 

If the purpose of dating is not marriage, then you need to honestly ask yourself what you are expecting to get out of a relationship that is not directed towards that end. If the purpose is something other than marriage, it is probably tied to a lack of commitment in some form, be it physical or emotional. 

 

Getting to know someone intimately through a romantic relationship forces us to open and share ourselves in a way different than we share ourselves with any other, and the further we let another in, the closer and more entwined with that person we become. It seems reckless to let someone in on such a deep level and not actively be thinking about having this person remain an integral part of your life.

 

Deciding to spend your life with someone is no small undertaking, and committing to the good and the bad, a forever partnership, is not something to be taken lightly. It requires that you fully assess the values, beliefs, and personality of another, as well as how those values and personality traits mesh with your own. 

 

Building a life together and entering the equal partnership of marriage requires constant work and care, and dating can (and should)be the time to determine if you and this other person have the foundation to make it work. 

 

This does not mean that you then reduce a person to the value they could add to your life, and it certainly doesn’t mean that thinking about someone’s potential as a spouse reduces them to only that. Rather, it makes this person more human in a way, as you begin to view them as a type of “ultimate person,” someone you view as so good that you’re willing to voluntarily choose to spend and build your entire life with. Rather than dating for sex and pleasure, dating with marriage as the end in mind brings the humanity and goodness of another person to light. 

 

Heartbreak

If you are not dating with marriage in mind, it is probably because you either think you are not ready or capable of committing to a life-long relationship with another– or you actually aren’t. If that is the case, then it follows that you probably are not in a state to even commit fully to a serious relationship, wherein loving for and caring for another is required of any decent partner. No one wants to be in a relationship where they are treated poorly, and no one wants to be on the receiving end of someone playing with their heartstrings only to let them down. When both you and your partner are dating with the goal of marriage, the chances of unnecessary hurt are greatly diminished. 

 

While even the most serious and committed relationships do not always end in marriage, those that keep the potential of marriage at the forefront of their intentions are much less likely to go on for long periods of time, thus making the pain of separation less severe. Having marriage as a goal brings seriousness to relationships from the beginning, as the couple is constantly assessing their compatibility and values. 

 

When you are seriously thinking about how your political differences may affect your life together, decisions are made much sooner about the long-term potential of your relationship, and often time heartbreak is avoided because you haven’t allowed yourself to grow too close with this person. Sure, a relationship ending will always be disappointing, but it doesn’t have to entail heartache that. Accompanies letting another in on a deep and intimate level and then having that suddenly severed from you.

 

 

Guarding your heart and mind is important to a certain extent, and it is not the same as building emotional walls and not letting another in. Slowly allowing someone deeper understanding and insight into who you are as wise, as you slowly open yourself up as you assess how this person can care for and respect you. Only as you continue to determine that this person is worth opening to and potentially sharing life with do you begin to disclose the deepest secrets and desires of your heart.

 

 

Chances are if you share something deep and your partner has an uncaring or disrespectful reaction, you probably are not going to continue sharing. Generally, you would decide that this person is not a suitable partner, as your values and what you need from one another don’t line up. Over time, the disconnect only widens, and dating with the intention of marriage allows you to end it, rather than letting it grow more serious and ultimately bring greater hurt in the inevitable end.

 

 

As a woman, you should consider yourself “sacred”, your relationships should be fully taken seriously with real potentials and the purpose of getting married to your partner. Your dignity as a woman lies in your capability to build a strong relationship and therefore have a great reputation.

 

When you date with the seriousness of getting married on your mind and eventually it leads to marriage, this will give room for building generational wealth as a woman. Your generations will enjoy the opportunity and dividend of the spotless relationship you have had which gave rise to them.

 

 

Final thoughts

Dating should cause us to seek the best in another person, as it affirms them and adds value to our own lives. Dating with marriage in mind ensures that we are purposely seeking the good in another and only setting the highest of standards for ourselves, both in the present and the future.

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