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Divorced: Now What?

One of the best things you can do for yourself is take inventory of the time you were in your past relationship.

The papers are all signed and the judge has left the bench. Your divorce is final. Now what? Let’s be real, divorce can be a very traumatic life moment and it can take some time to process through the details of that relationship. One of the best things you can do for yourself is take inventory of the time you were in your past relationship. What does taking inventory look like? Taking inventory of your past relationship is done by accounting for the time you were in that relationship. Use a journal or notebook to write down the pivotal moments you lived through. You can go year by year or month by month. The timeline you use will be based off the length of your relationship. Write down the great moments and what made them great. What did you gain or lose in that moment? Did you learn a valuable lesson? I find that writing helps me to be real with myself and about myself. On the flip side, you can’t take the good without the bad. It’s easy to think and write about the happy moments. I won’t lie to you; writing about the hard times takes a lot of courage, honesty and guts.  Just know that this is a necessary part of your healing. Now, write about the hurtful and painful moments. What happened in those moments? What part did I play in those moments? What did I lose in that moment? What did I learn/unlearn in that moment? This is the time where having myself as your life coach would be beneficial.  We can set aside an hour or two to talk through these moments. Divorce can make you feel like you’ve failed, lost yourself or wasted time. Taking inventory your time in that relationship will show you just how strong and blessed you are!

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