Do You Consider What’s Out of Sight?

"Do You Consider What's Out of Sight?" discusses why a person's private life is highly important, matters just as much if not more than what they showcase in public, and why it's important to recognize it sooner rather than later. ~What happens backstage in a person’s life is just if not more important than what happens onstage because it’s the backstage mindset, attitudes, and behaviors that shape the presentation and quality of a person’s onstage perspectives, lifestyle, and actions.~Coach Sam

People often say out of sight is out of mind and while that can most certainly be true as it relates to things and places, it can also be true about people. And if these current times have showed us anything, it’s that we can think we know a person, but once their backstage perspectives, lifestyle, and actions become known, if we don’t like the new truth, we know about them, we will choose to not be around them or associated with them in any way.

Just think about some high-profile celebrities that have found themselves in scandals and headlines and how people now treat them versus before their shortcomings and corrupt deeds were known, and in many cases the circumstances are he said she said and still people accusing them has changed their whole lives in what seems to have happened overnight, in a negative way. They’ve lost their prestige and power, positive name recognition, as well as endorsements, contract deals, and much more.

All because what they thought no one would ever find out became public knowledge. This has even played out on day-time television talk shows. It’s true people have and will always have a difference of opinion in what friendship is and the metrics for how they determine to be and remain friends with someone and while we may not understand it and or totally disagree with it, they get to choose for themselves.

This is also the case for corporations because though my blog focus is on personal development and growth, people make up corporations, and there are several corporations over the years and even in recent times who’ve found themselves in the hot seat. Of course, everyone is out to save him or herself once the dirt of the organization is in the forefront of the public to view. Just think about the Texas energy crisis and how many of the top executives submitted resignations.

So, I’m telling you the backstage of a person can reveal things that you are confused about in their onstage lifestyle, whether you met them in a personal or professional setting. Because it’s in the backstage where people feel comfortable to be most genuine and true to who they are, what they want to do, and the way they want to do it. Yes, some companies do have no fraternization policies, still, people will do as they please. And the fact remains just because you work with someone doesn’t mean that your decision to get involved in a romantic relationship with him or her will work out or end peacefully.

More likely than not, you do not want to work with an ex and you can minimize that possibility and unnecessary heartache, if you watch and evaluate their backstage perspective. What are the things he or she reveals about their mindset when the two of you are alone? What does he or she say about what you think and feel? And wouldn’t it be so much better to find out that the person you’re considering building a life with has a perspective you can’t find any common ground with early on, so you can save time by moving along to someone else who you are compatible with?

In addition, you should pay attention to their attitude because as the saying states attitude determines altitude. Somethings don’t go right for folks because of the attitude they bring to the negotiating table of life, expecting a handout from everyone or a floor-mat to stomp on whenever they feel like it and eventually, they find out there is someone out there that simply won’t put up with it. So, do you take note of how the person you are dating treats you when no one else is around?

How is his or her speech and non-verbal cues? Is his or her energy positive or negative? When the person you are dating treats you poorly in private, then clearly that’s an indicator of disrespect, which you shouldn’t allow because in this time the two of you should be building bonds that unite you, not make you feel less than and eventually he or she will become bold enough to display their attitude in public. Besides, if the person you are with is treating you poorly, even with words, recognize your acceptance or refusal puts the person in their place. The same goes for how they treat others, do people accept it or not.

Either way, it’s all information you can use to determine the character of the person you are dating and the type of people he or she is accustomed to dealing with. Does the person you are with need an attitude adjustment or would you be better off moving along without him or her in your life? Remember, you can not know someone and still be pleasant because your attitude is part of your mindset.

And if your mindset considers mindfulness as important, it will show in how you treat everyone, which includes those people who you know you may never see again. Yes, it seems like a small detail to or action to look at as unimportant, but think about it like this, in the beginning of your relationship, you, yes, you are a stranger to the person you’re dating, and if he or she treat strangers like floor-mats, it’s a pattern of what he or she feels is acceptable. What we see as acceptable, we continue to do and once someone is comfortable with doing something he or she tends to do it automatically.

That’s what makes habits truly hard to break because as they become part of our normal, we like doing them. You must know actions are at their core the way people reveal their identity without using their mouth. You don’t have to put up with anyone who doesn’t see you as a person of value because you are, but it’s up to you to demand that whoever you are dating treats you as such. So, know you decide who to bring in your life, and when to they should go, and as you’re doing so, you must evaluate their backstage and be willing to cut your losses when needed to save you time and unnecessary heart ache.

~What happens backstage in a person’s life is just if not more important than what happens onstage because it’s the backstage mindset, attitudes, and behaviors that shape the presentation and quality of a person’s onstage perspectives, lifestyle, and actions.~Coach Sam


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