Do You Have Control of Your Life?

"Do You Have Control of Your Life?" is a blog post about how too often we give things, situations, and people authority to control our state of mind or well-being, and sometimes that person is us; but when we realize it, we can transform our life when ever we get ready. ~Your life is yours to live and you don’t owe any person anything because people don’t have any authority over you, except the authority you give them. ~Coach Sam

When you think of control you may think of control as restrictions or someone preventing you from doing something that you want to and while I would agree with that line of thought, control is also allowing others to treat you directly or indirectly as less than. And that is something that far too many people don’t realize that they do.

When you think about your interactions during the day or your typical work week, what is it that you allow or tolerate that you really don’t want to. Yes, I know that there are some aspects of your job that you may not particularly like. Still, are there other things that you accept that you don’t have to.

If so, why? Why allow other people to treat you as less than? Do you not realize that the way you allow people to treat you is what you show them is acceptable? Do you not realize that as an individual you must be able to respectfully tell people how you feel and when they’ve crossed the line, even if they’re in a position of authority?

Yes, that includes your supervisor, team lead, and anyone in between. I know in a work environment that may be tough. Still, think of it as your personal responsibility and personal power because it is.

Part of what separates adults from kids is that as an adult, we at some point, should have the ability to forecast and have insight to best communicate with others when we need to deal with complex, complicated, and confusing situations, in a way that children and teenagers can’t.

If as an adult people see and view you as a floor-mat that they can walk on, step over, and drag through the dirt anytime they feel like it what are you doing about it? Outside of doing your job, you owe no one anything at work. The same goes for your personal life. What you should have is freedom to be you and do what you please. Yes, relationships have compromise.

But compromise is not the same as cowering down to others you interact with and it sure isn’t allowing others to disrespect you and take away your peace of mind. At some point, your tolerance for allowing people, situations, and events to take place in your life that you are not comfortable with, disagree with, and in some cases outright hate should end.

Because if they don’t, you can’t have control of your life. And as an individual with your own mind and ability to do things that is part of what makes you an adult. Just think as a child you didn’t get to decide where you lived, your guardians did. You didn’t get to decide what you wanted to buy in the store to supply the house with food and other needed things, because it was out of your control.

And the list goes on, the point I’m making is that if you are an adult, adults make decisions and sometimes those decisions come with confrontation, sometimes they come with others having a shift in their attitude when they approach you, and sometimes they come with you deciding it’s time for a change to give your life positivity and the freedom you desperately may need.

In life, you must remember that your future is yours. No one will look out for your own best interest the way you do. No one will think about your needs and expectations the way you do. No one should care about your physical and mental well-being the way you should.  And your mental health and mindset is just as important as your physical body. In fact, your mental health and mindset is part of the reason too many of us don’t realize when and how often we give control away freely.

Think about your time and how you manage your stress. Yes, you may not have as much stress as some, but stress is something we all experience in our life. And what do you do when you feel stress? What is your response to people who cause you to feel stress and as though you did something wrong when you know you didn’t or that you can’t be yourself?

Your habits for handling stress matter greatly. Because your habits are yours to control as well. And little do some us know it’s not others taking control out of our life, it’s us! Yep, it’s us. You may be taking your ability to have the freedom that you desire.

The problem is it’s so easy to miss that it’s us because of our perspective on how we see control. For some of us, television is taking our control because we won’t stop watching TV to make what we want happen more than a thought.

For some of us, it’s our phone, we just can’t put it down, we’re always on it, always checking it, always getting notifications for everything. And for some of us, it’s what we consider fun, socially acceptable, or the norm of what our family and or friends expect us to do.

And the list goes on. Therefore, if you’re understanding of control ends with you thinking that control is only an external factor, you’ll miss the opportunity to evaluate every area of your life, which is the first step we all need to transform our life from the inside out. The question is are you ready for transformation?

~Your life is yours to live and you don’t owe any person anything because people don’t have any authority over you, except the authority you give them. ~Coach Sam


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