Do You Help Strengthen His Spirit or His Flesh?

Do You Help Strengthen His Spirit or His Flesh? is my blog post encouraging you as a woman to look at the type of woman you are to determine if you are influencing your spouse or the men you date to be better or worse and giving you tools to do something about it. ~More than you know you can strengthen your man for the better or for the worse because you have the grace to be his help and God gives you the free will to choose your standards. ~ Coach Sam

Do you remember that old school track It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World by James Brown? …Well, if not, I may be dating myself, but simply put the artist conveyed that with all the creations that man created that the world couldn’t under any circumstance be complete without a woman or a girl.

And when you listen to the simplicity of the lyrics you hear the visualizations of the all the creations that man made and yet there’s something that us ladies bring to the table of the life of the man, we’re with that he can find from no other relationship. And it’s not to say that his other relationships aren’t important, but they’re different and just don’t compare to what you can add to his life.

Please, hear me today when I say to you don’t think for one minute that you can’t influence your man, boyfriend, finance, or husband to be a better version of himself. The question is do you know the strength of your influence and how critical you are to his elevation or decline, to his growth or to his childishness, to him standing tall like the King God created him to be or playing around remaining like a boy that he was not meant to stay.

That’s right, you – you hold the power to empower him! Now you may say what??? Well, as odd as it may seem there’s no man on this planet who doesn’t want to appeal to the lady that he’s with. And clearly since he wants to appeal to you, what you think matters and your mindset can help elevate him if you’re strengthening his spirit instead of his flesh.

In order to know if you’re strengthening his spirit versus his flesh you must look at the type of woman you are. That’s right, you must do self-inventory. You know as ladies we talk a lot about the faults of the men in this world. And to that I say not all men are a lost cause looking for you to take care of them or seeking out women to mistreat.

However, if you keep finding yourself in relationships or situationships where it seems the man that you’re with doesn’t want anything of value or is a total nightmare that you wish you’d never crossed paths with then the common denominator is you. So, let’s breakdown strengthening his spirit versus his flesh. If you’re strengthening his spirit, you’re encouraging him to do these two things: keep God first and live righteously.

And trust me it’s not easy to do because in order to encourage him to keep God first you need to be modeling keeping God first in your own life as well as living righteously yourself. After all, if you’re talking to him about the importance of making God a priority, he should be able to see the fruit of God first in your life. He should see you praying, he should see you see you studying the word of God, he should see you modeling the ways of God and he should see how you’re daily growing stronger and wiser in the things of God.

Well, what does that look like? I’m glad you asked… You know when that person cuts you off on the road, jumps in front of you in line, side eyes you like they lost their mind, or is rude to you just because they felt like being so… Yes, in those situations he should see you handle situations in a Godly manner, not see you put Jesus down and pick Him back up later after you set it off to approve your own short message. And you know what I’m talking about…

Furthermore, he should see you treating yourself, family, friends and even strangers with respect and taking care of your kids, if you have any, in a loving and nurturing way that prepares them to live life with purpose and keeping your mind, eyes, and ears filled with uplifting and positive content and this includes whatever you choose to do for fun in your recreation or down time.

On the other hand, if you’re strengthening his flesh, you’re not speaking to him about keeping God first, in fact, you’re in most instances whether you’re doing it intentionally or not are with your actions showing and telling him that the things of God don’t matter, which in turn leads to him continuing to live outside of the will of God. I know you may be saying he’s an adult and what he choosing to do is on him.

True, he is and he does get to choose for himself. But remember I’m not saying you’re responsible for him. I’m telling you that you can help strengthen his walk with God based on your conduct and whether your actions and responses draw him to biblical things or worldly things. If you’re drawing him towards worldly things, you too may enjoy the club or party scenes, getting lit or wasted, engaging in premarital relations, doing things your own way, and fail to consult God or care if your choices align with the will of God for your life.

You too may Treat others with disrespect or very selfishly as though the only important person in this world is you and the only things that matter are things that involve you because you may feel it’s best to get all that you can, when you can, while you can. Yet, you have no desire to give anything, lend a helping hand, or volunteer to worthy causes even when you have the time and or resources.

Now, you know we all have our faults and some of us have more than others, so I’m not here to place you in either category, but you can look in the mirror and acknowledge for yourself whether you have traits that identify you as a woman who strengthens the spirit or flesh of the man, you’re with or may have just ended a relationship with.

Because if you truly want to have a man whose kingdom minded and focused on living life with morals and principals then if you find yourself in the latter category before you seek out a spouse, the real work must start with you. And if you’re wondering what’s the first step you can implement to start that change, I’d say create what I call a T-chart.

Basically a list of all the traits you know you have and need to work on improving or eliminating to become a woman who strengthens the spirit of your spouse. Put them on those traits on one side and on the other side write down at least one thing you can do to improve those negative or toxic traits or at least one way you can positively eliminate it completely.

Secondly, keep this list where you can see it, because out of sight is out of mind.

Third and most important track and update your list as you improve to hold yourself accountable for your progress or lack of progress.

If necessary, reach out to a trustworthy person in your inner circle or a life coach who can also make sure you’re following through to do what you said to become a better version of you to help not only yourself, but your spouse be better as well. Because the good book says very clearly the woman is the helpmate. And the last I checked, the God I serve doesn’t make mistakes and you best believe He would NOT assign us to be the help if we couldn’t do so and do so in a great transformational and phenomenal way. Okay!

~More than you know you can strengthen your man for the better or for the worse because you have the grace to be his help and God gives you the free will to choose your standards. ~ Coach Sam


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