Don’t Pretend

Heartache, I believe, is the worst pain a person can feel. That type of pain, man…! it follows you when you are awake, or asleep, when you think you’re not thinking about it, but you are. You can’t take any pain relievers to help it go away.  When you see a picture or a song, the pain starts all over again. Heartache can make you think you’re losing your mind. It can make you act out of character, say or do things that ‘you’ really wouldn’t do.

Emotional expressions I have seen a heart ache can have:

Pissed – for me a level past anger. when you are so angry at the person or situation that you act of character

Bitterness – anger that has made you want to act out of character and possibly seek revenge

Self-Blame – blaming yourself for the slightest thing you could have done differently, whether valid or not

Frustration – you can’t fix the problem, you can’t change your feelings, and you feel trapped

Healing- you finally get sick and tired of being sick tired and hurting, and just don’t care about it anymore

Pity – you’re healing and feeling sorry for the other person, or you’re still bitter and playing the victim

 … the list could go on. The worst thing you can do when you’re hurting is try to pretend that you’re not. Don’t pretend.

Don’t act like nothing ever happened and bury the pain under a rug like you can walk all over it and tell your pain what to do. No. That is not going to help you now, or later. Stop, feel the pain. Feel the emotions. Feel the days come and go.

Call a friend, write in a journal or a scribble pad, or write a letter to the one that put you in this much pain. It doesn’t mean you have to give them the letter, but that gives you a chance to get your feelings, however emotional, off your chest and off your mind. Once you do that, see how you feel. See if you want to reveal the letter to that person. See if you can turn the radio on without crying. You may not be able to listen to a full song yet, but slowly you will be able to listen to a little more, and a little more. Until, one day, you’ve listen to quite a bit without realizing that you did.

So you when you find you’re are suffering because someone hurt you, don’t pretend and sweep it under the rug. You have the right to feel the way you feel. But, just don’t pretend. You will not heal if you pretend.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

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