Finding “The One” a Piece of the Puzzle

When finding “the one” there are four types of people in your life that may generate this feeling. All of these connections are quite strong and its strength should not overrun sensibility in terms of what is right for you. Timing, and life experience has a lot to do with the choices we make.


A part of us wants to feel, “If it feels good, it must be right.” Our judgement can be cloudy sometimes, and even when clear if we do not see other possibilities, we may be inclined to lean on feeling good. Some people are edge puzzle pieces and may not have many people they click with, however, the majority has four different options to entertain.


Firstly, the immature relationship. This relationship will remind you of home and will tend to make you feel that is where your heart should be. They are familiar, they feel good, and therefore feel right. The person isn’t a bad person per say but they also stunt your growth and leave you in a childish state of mind. When you try to grow up you no longer click as well. Ever hear a seemingly good relationship end with “We just grew apart.”? These types of relationships are very imaginative and are not grounded in reality. It may be fun but it is also stunting. It can be as fun as your favorite childhood cereal where there may be a toy inside. A kid’s palette is not a good predictor of a future palette in the sense that a kid who is cuckoo for cocoa puffs may not predictably grow up to desire kale. Two people may love the same cereal as a kid and not love the same healthy foods in the future. This relationship is grounded in wishful thinking.


The master relationship can shift your whole world. That person will be treated as your God. Your mood will depend on their mood and servitude will be key in your survival in terms of sustaining the relationship. You give them unconditional love, as they give you conditional love. The love you receive from them will be earned, and it will be taxing. You will rationalize poor judgements on your part for security sake. You will search for the why behind some of their behaviors as opposed to just figuring out how to get out. The lack of reasoning  and vindication of oneself will keep you stuck until you escape the sunken place that set you in position in the first place.


The slave relationship is where you have the upper-hand. Your partner goes out of their way to please you and does all the right things. It’s hard to find flaws in this person as they do everything you desire them to do for the most part. They do their best to meet your needs while you don’t have to satisfy any of theirs. You’re at full advantage with the prime consequence being that you are not challenged in anyway. You inherently stunt your growth with this person as well. However, you may feel fine due to lack of turmoil in the relationship. Your love for them will inevitable bore you. The love you give them will be conditional and your lack of respect for them may end the relationship.


The mature relationship, makes you take responsibility for yourself as you grow into a better version of yourself. It’s realistic, it sets you on the right track, and helps you blossom into a life in your purpose. Sadly, a lot of people tend to only believe in the immature match, master/slave relationship. Not everyone finds the right one. A person may be mature but you don’t click. Sometimes you don’t click because of the hurt and pain in the way. Or sometimes you don’t click because you are not right for each other. Regardless, let God shape you so that you can properly identify your connections.


You may misidentify what’s right for you simply because of your perspective. From one angle your relationship can look mature, and from another be immature. Or you can think you are the master when from another view point you may actually be the slave. Until one is able to identify the bigger picture of the puzzle it will be hard to know which is the right side up. After all, the world will always have their perception from where they stand. If you look at the puzzle piece it may look upside down but until you see the whole picture it may be hard to tell. If Christ is your north star and you know him accurately and have a relationship, “when you know, you will know” and you will actually know the truth.

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