I don’t know about you all, but I am a firm believer that the biggest mistake you can make in your life is falling in love with the wrong person. Maybe I watch too much Investigation Discover and Snapped. It is important to understand that the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with has an impact on how the rest of your life will pan out. As a single woman, I understand the desire for companionship and a meaningful relationship, but I always advise women to love yourself first and foremost and do not settle for what shows up. Another common theme is the overwhelming desire to go back and forth with the ex. I know women who have spent years going back and forth with an ex and when it finally ends for good, precious years of her life are wasted and the internal damage is almost irreparable. I’m here to tell you with all the love in my heart, get over him sis, god has better for you.
As a believer, I always feel that when it is my time to meet the Lord, he will show me the plan He had for my life. I would hate for him to show me a vision of an incredible life only to reveal that because of my disobedience, my life ended up being sub-par at best. When we allow ourselves to be stagnant in a relationship that isn’t progressing but regressing, we hurt ourselves more than we understand in the moment. I challenge women going through this to break the cycle and have the courage to leave the relationship that is hurting you more than anything. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
In past relationships that I knew should end, I would oftentimes hesitate to leave out of fear of being alone and fear of not being able to find better. However, when I finally did leave, I never regretted it. I never wondered what could have been. Instead, I prayed and surrendered the breakup to God and accepted that better was coming in His timing and made it my goal to work on myself and prepare for God’s best rather than being upset about what was not meant to be. How many women are trying to build a lifetime with someone who was only meant to be around for a season? If this is you, you may want to take a long look at yourself and try to figure out why you settle for less than you deserve.
I can tell you why I settled for less than I deserved. I settled because I didn’t know my worth. I didn’t understand my value and I wanted to be wanted more than anything. For the life of me, I couldn’t make peace with something just not being meant to be. I settled out of desperation. I settled because I didn’t think I would find better. What made me snap out of this tragic mindset is that I always found better. I constantly leveled up. As I became better, I attracted better and I chose better.
I stopped settling when I started loving myself, realizing my worth, and not being fearful of being alone. I found peace within myself and as I grew in my relationship with God, I began to trust him and submit myself to his plan for my life rather than my own. Sis imagine the type of life and relationship you want and aspire to that and do not settle. When it comes to pursuing higher education, furthering our career, or other goals we have, we are less likely to settle for what shows up. This is no different. The wait is worth it. That, I can promise you.