Grief in Simple Terms

What is Grief? How to Deal...

Grief is a word most don’t want to even speak about, let alone experience. Unfortunately though, if you live this life, you will encounter grief – be it your own or someone else’s. Likely both. And that’s ok.  Grief is a part of life just as much as any other. Albeit, unpleasant, but still life.

Grief is natural. It is simply the natural response to the loss of something significant to you. Whether caused by the death of a loved one, or some other non-death related occurrence like the loss of an important relationship, job, or a pet.  

Grief can show up as tears and inconsolable crying, but it can also show up as quiet sadness, or even reckless behavior. It can also have no visible effects at all, but leave a person feeling numb or disconnected.

Grief can last for a short time or for years if not treated. There are no fast and hard rules for how long grief lasts, but generally in even the quickest and easiest of outcomes, it takes at least a year or two to get through the process. 

Most people I coach with want to know how they can get “out of” grief, or “stop” grieving, or how to “get over it.” Sadly I have to tell them that there really are no shortcuts through it. There’s only the regular path of allowance or the harder path of resistance. But, I can attest that if you allow yourself to grieve, healing will come. 

Remember this while on your grief journey:

– DO NOT judge your feelings

DO allow yourself to feel what you feel

– DO NOT keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside you

DO find outlets to release the pain you feel – whether that be art, or dancing, or singing, or talking, or crying, or creating a scrapbook

– DO NOT allow others to tell you how you should feel or what you should be doing

  • DO take extra, special care of yourself! You really need it right now

~ ~ ~

Nothing hidden can heal. The only way out is through.

One breath at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time – that’s all you have anyway…and that’s all you have to do.

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