Here’s the thing if you trust someone, they should be loyal and dependable, but the truth is at some point in our lives we’ve all trusted someone who was untrustworthy, we just didn’t know it at the time. So, the question then becomes what do we do about it?
Because too often then not, if we don’t learn from the mistake of trusting an untrustworthy person, when they come knocking on our door again, we’ll open it without even considering that this is the same person who has just showed us that we shouldn’t trust him or her.
Some of you may say, well, we all make mistakes and need forgiveness, shouldn’t we attempt to give the person another chance to be in our life? Actually, I’m not opposed to giving people a second chance.
However, if we’re going to maintain healthy and positive relationships there comes a point in time, where we must see that we can’t expect a person to be what we want and need them to be.
As there’s a difference in people being human and having human shortcomings versus people continuously showing us with their words and actions, they’re untrustworthy. And there are 5 ways to identify people that you’re continuing to trust that are untrustworthy.
1. I’m Sorry Is Their Anthem
2. Blame Shifting Is Normal
3. They Fail to Endure Tests
4. Unstable In Their Mindset
5. They Repeatedly Lie
I’m Sorry Is Their Anthem
Every time you turn around these people are telling you that they are sorry. Now, it’s one thing to be sorry, however, remember if you’re truly sorry for something you would not turn around and do that same thing again. Just think if you step on your spouse’s shoe or spill coffee on your spouse’s shirt the first time, I’m sure he or she would accept your apology – But if you did those things 5 times in a row, within a 20-minute time frame then your spouse would be looking at you sideways. Because once okay, twice maybe, three times, that’s pushing it, but four or five times. No, that’s not accidents you’re doing it on purpose.
And while I used two simple examples the fact is if you have individuals in your life who are always doing the same thing repeatedly, whatever that thing is, yet coming back to you, saying, oh I’m sorry, do you really believe that they are sorry? To be sorry is to be remorseful, and you shouldn’t let anyone think they can use I’m sorry as an anthem as though the way they treat you doesn’t matter.
Blame Shifting Is Normal
Because it absolutely matters. And you shouldn’t allow them to make you feel that it doesn’t. Yes, people who like to shift the blame, will often shift the blame to you and say that a situation that happened is your fault. Or they may sing a sad song and tell you that you just don’t understand. Again, they’re shifting their ability to be trustworthy back to your failure to understand their situation. We all have issues that come up in life, but we don’t have emergencies everyday that prevent us from keeping our word to people who trust us.
They Fail to Endure Tests
Yes, test and if you’re wondering why would you test someone, well, you’d do that because if you’re going to have people in your life that are for you, you won’t know that if you’re not taking time to discern their character.
And that’s what you’re testing and you do that by taking note of how they interact with you and others, as well as how they carry-on outside of your presence.
Don’t think for one minute that you can have someone in your life that is trustworthy, yet, they have no endurance to stand still when adversities come and be supportive when you need them to be a lifeline at critical times in your life.
Unstable In Their Mindset
If they can’t endure test, more likely than not they have a mindset that takes them here there and everywhere. And that’s no good to you or for you. Could you imagine going to put your weight down on a bench and then the legs of it gave way? Or walking underneath a sign and it came tumbling down on top of you…
What happened in both instances is both the bench and the sign fail to be dependable to serve their intended function. And that’s the mindset of an unstable people. They’ll have you thinking that you can depend on them, only to fail you and leave you sad and depressed. You’ll feel like you’re at the park on a see-saw okay and stable for a moment, and in the next confused and low to the floor.
They Repeatedly Lie
Then because they don’t won’t you to hold them accountable, they’ll lie. Yes, untrustworthy people will lie to you, and continue to lie to you. And even if you present factual evidence that you know they’re lying, you may be surprised, but it won’t move them.
Therefore, do understand that when you know that people in your life lie to you and your relationship with them is full of lies it makes no sense to keep them around. You must ask yourself why are they in your life, because the people in your life don’t have to be.
So, I challenge you to evaluate all the people in your life and determine if you have people in your life that you’re keeping around that are untrustworthy. If so, make the choice to let them go, because your failure to do so will keep you stuck enduring toxic behavior and prevent you from building and having an inner circle that’s for you and your highest good.
~Just because perfection doesn’t exist doesn’t mean that we should not evaluate the character and actions of those who claim to be for us. ~ Coach Sam
~EXALTED ROYALTY~ A C. E. SAM COMPANY