He/She Hit Me

Do children ever really recover when they experience child abuse in their lives?

There is a big difference between discipline, punishment, and abuse. A child who has experienced any of the above knows instinctively when something is right verses wrong. What happens to children’s mental and emotional development when they are physically abused? Can they development normally after having these experiences? Do they automatically become more aggressive than other children? Are they more angry or more likely to become bullies themselves? Do abused children remain victims or evolve into victimizers? Hurt people hurt people & Healed people heal people.

TRANSPARENT MOMENT: As for me, I learned to become a victim through the victim mentality 🧠 that developed at a young age due to experiencing physical abuse at the hands of non-biological caregivers. It caused me to think 💭 that I was supposed to be hurt by others. Over time the more hurt compounded the less abnormal it seemed to me. Somewhere along the way, I learned to accept things as they came without questioning them or believing for a different outcome. This can be likened to a fish 🐟 swimming in polluted water. There is one of two options, die or adapt. Sometimes children have to adapt to the most unhealthy situations in order to survive. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right? Or as Indie Arie said, “what did not demolish me simply polished me.” It’s all about the perspective that we choose to take and the decision that we choose to make. 

So many cases of child abuse go unreported each year, that we really cannot estimate the real numbers. Only 12% of all cases of child abuse are reported. The U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics’ Survey of Inmates of State Correctional Facilities concerning characteristics of offenders who commit violent crimes against children found that more than 3/4 of violent crimes occurred either in the offender’s or the victim’s place of residence 🏡. A study using data from the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study revealed that in many cases the absence of a biological father contributes to increased risk of child maltreatment. The results suggest that Child Protective Service (CPS) agencies have some justification in viewing the presence of social fathers as increasing children’s risk of abuse and neglect. It is believed that in families with a non-biological (social) father figure, there is higher risk of abuse and neglect of children, despite the social father living in the household or only dating the mother. Child Abuse is real, yet it is also wrong.

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