“He wasted my time!”

🌸What did your past relationships teach you?

Did he waste your time, or did you?

I ask this not in a judgmental way, but upon reflection of my own life. I remember saying that I loved myself. I thought I had so much confidence! However, my actions with the men in my love life did not reflect this professed self-love and outward self-confidence. Why did I continue to pour out so much in every relationship, situationship, or friends with benefits situation that I encountered? Did I really value myself or know my self worth? Then, I reasoned in my mind…well, I never reach out to them, and they always kept in contact with me. However, why did I make myself so available to them? After much self-reflection, reading, studying, and therapy, I have learned so many lessons, but here are a few:

  1. Men and women are different. We were designed with different needs and desires. Our minds process information differently, which is reflected in our behaviors.
  2. Society has assigned dysfunctional standards for relationships, marriage, and love that many will fall victim to.
  3. Toxic relationships are much more common than you may think. People “self-heal” by jumping from relationship to relationship. Soul ties are real!
  4. Being single is a gift, and it is necessary to reach a place of “wholeness.” Wholeness is achieved through spending time with God, learning lessons from the past, and making the appropriate adjustments to ensure your future. 
  5. You can’t live your best life until you submit your own will, wants, and desires to God’s will for your life. Trust me, He knows what’s best!
  6. You can find peace, joy, unconditional love, healing and wholeness, and purpose even in brokenness, chaos, and disaster. 
  7. You cannot control another person’s actions, but you can control yours!

Therefore, when I asked myself the above question, “Did he waste your time, or did you? I determined that I was responsible for my own time. 💡The acceptance of responsibility for my own choices was the beginning of my healing.

📌Interested in hearing more? Follow and listen to new episodes on YouTube channel Faith & Flourish 🌸

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