Did he waste your time, or did you?
I ask this not in a judgmental way, but upon reflection of my own life. I remember saying that I loved myself. I thought I had so much confidence! However, my actions with the men in my love life did not reflect this professed self-love and outward self-confidence. Why did I continue to pour out so much in every relationship, situationship, or friends with benefits situation that I encountered? Did I really value myself or know my self worth? Then, I reasoned in my mind…well, I never reach out to them, and they always kept in contact with me. However, why did I make myself so available to them? After much self-reflection, reading, studying, and therapy, I have learned so many lessons, but here are a few:
- Men and women are different. We were designed with different needs and desires. Our minds process information differently, which is reflected in our behaviors.
- Society has assigned dysfunctional standards for relationships, marriage, and love that many will fall victim to.
- Toxic relationships are much more common than you may think. People “self-heal” by jumping from relationship to relationship. Soul ties are real!
- Being single is a gift, and it is necessary to reach a place of “wholeness.” Wholeness is achieved through spending time with God, learning lessons from the past, and making the appropriate adjustments to ensure your future.
- You can’t live your best life until you submit your own will, wants, and desires to God’s will for your life. Trust me, He knows what’s best!
- You can find peace, joy, unconditional love, healing and wholeness, and purpose even in brokenness, chaos, and disaster.
- You cannot control another person’s actions, but you can control yours!
Therefore, when I asked myself the above question, “Did he waste your time, or did you? I determined that I was responsible for my own time. 💡The acceptance of responsibility for my own choices was the beginning of my healing.
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