Healthy Relationships Matter

Let’s talk about relationships. Are you single right now and want to be in a relationship? Are you in a relationship, how’s it going? One thing I’ve noticed about relationships is a lot of people have their very own unique way of looking at them. So how would you define a good relationship? What would have to happen for you to consider a relationship bad? What kind of characteristics do you look for in a person you would want to have a relationship with?  Often times we get into relationships and think that it is going well based on how it fulfills our personal needs. For example, sometimes people get tired of being alone, so they decide to pursue a relationship. Sometimes people get in relationships and the comfort from another person soothes their insecurities. Other people pursue relationships in hopes of building a healthy marriage and family. So, what is your reason for wanting a relationship? Better yet how do you define a good relationship and how can someone have a good relationship? Before I dive deeper let’s be clear, nothing is perfect. Especially when you have another person involved. So, lets look at it, what drives you to say you are ready for a relationship? Have you reached a certain level of achievements in your life and you want someone to share it with? Or were you approached by someone you didn’t even see coming and you both had an unexplainable connection? However you got with someone, what would be your ideal next steps? Spending time with each other daily? Meeting one another’s family and friends? Well once you think about it, those are surface things. What about when you try to communicate, and they don’t want to understand where you’re coming from. Or things you both loved to do together you don’t even find amusing anymore. Things from the past found a way to creep into the present. That could be a bitter ex, trust issues out of nowhere, insecurities. What happens when they falsely accuse you of cheating or being too aggressive. What happens when you catch them cheating and they constantly make you feel less than? At what point would you consider your relationship bad? At what point you would say things can’t be fixed? At what point are you willing to work on things? These are all the questions I see rise when people get to a place where they have to evaluate their relationship. It’s always easy to say what you think you’re doing right and how they need to understand, but in all honesty, it truly works both ways. Both people have to be willing to self reflect and willing to make necessary changes. With that said, ask yourself what are some things you know you absolutely cant work through if it happened in your relationship. If you are single, I want you to take this time to reflect on where you are personally and ask yourself would a relationship be a good fit for you right now. If so, why? What traits would you look for in a mate? What areas of your life have you worked on specifically to help yourself have a good relationship? If you are in a relationship take a moment and think. What do you enjoy the most about your partner? What are some things you both can work on for each other? Remember the goal is to build healthy relationships. Healthy relationships create healthy marriages. Healthy marriages create healthy families and break generational curses. -Lori G. Clark