How do you know when it’s time to let go?

Ladies, please hear me when I say it’s not about how long to stay in the ring and fight. Focus your energy on what’s truly meant for you. Often times we always hold on to this unwritten rule that you have to deal with heartache and pain before your man gets his stuff together. You may have heard people tell you, “Just work it out, everyone goes through a rough patch” or “We all had to go through that, all men cheat.” Do not accept the norm. We all deserve happiness and you shouldn’t have to go through so much pain to get there.  
Do not put up with disrespect because you think you have to or because the people around you have labeled it as “a rough patch.” You deserve better and you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up and say that. Now I will say, every relationship is different so sometimes there is an option to work through things. Other times you have to know when it’s time to leave. So let me help you figure that out and hopefully spare you sometime of being in the wrong relationship for too long. 
If you feel like you are completely drained in the relationship, it’s time to go. A relationship should not feel this way. You should not always feel like you have to walk on egg shells around the person you are with. You should not always feel like you are compromising and there is no give and take. A relationship takes two people wanting to make things work and if you’re the only person doing the work, then it will not work.  

I was in a long-term relationship (10 years) to be exact and I allowed myself to stay there for way to long. So, I’m going to speak from my experience and tell you about how I moved on and never looked back. Here are somethings I learned along the way and after the relationship ended, that have helped me to never make the same mistake of staying too long in a relationship. 


As I reflected upon this particular relationship, I realized I was slowly being isolated. This person did not want me hanging out around my friends and I couldn’t even stay around my family for to long before it was an issue. Any person making you feel like all you have to depend on is them, is not the right one for you. We all need healthy friends and people in our lives to help us through life. If you feel like all you have is your partner and you’ve had to cut off others for them, then it’s time to go.  


If you are in a relationship where they constantly say things like “If you love me, you would do this” or “If you didn’t act that way, then I wouldn’t have done that.” Please make note of these things because that is a clear sign that they are selfish and will not take accountability for their actions. If you’re always feeling like everything is your fault in the relationship, then you need to move on from that relationship. Yes, it is possible that you messed up a few times, but every time?? I highly doubt that is the case, no one is perfect and everyone should own up to the part they play. 


Simply put, effort is necessary for a healthy relationship to grow. A lot of times in relationships, simply watching their behavior will tell you all you need to know. So, pay attention to the signs. Listen to what they say or don’t say and don’t be afraid to walk away. If it’s meant to be, it will be, if not then just know you will find better.  

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