Healing from a relationship will look different for everyone. Let me take you through my healing Journey. The first step is letting go. It took me 5 years to let go of that toxic and abusive relationship. The letting go process is difficult and you should never judge yourself for this process. When you finally come to terms with yourself that you have done everything in your power to save a relationship but the other person is not willing to meet you half way , this is when letting go can be painful but necessary.
The next step is going no contact with this person as you begin your healing process. This process will make you miss the person, you will second guess yourself , you will think of the good times instead of the reasons why you left so a good way to stay focused and determined to heal is to make a list of all of the hurtful and abusive things that took place in this relationship. This will help you realize why you left the relationship and keep you focused on healing and moving foward . This was extremely helpful to me when I would have a lonely night and I was missing the person. Reading all of the hurtful things that this person did to me would help me snap out of going down that dark whole of missing the person and help me to put things into perspective.
The last step is not to date in this healing process. Give yourself time. You need time to find yourself again. Most likely you lost yourself in this relationship and your self esteem is very low. This is the time for you to get to know yourself, learn the lesson and set boundaries and standards for any future relationships. Be gentle with yourself and ask yourself every day “what can I do for myself today that will better myself and not hurt myself ”
