You may have heard many men say they are not marriage material or do not want to get married just to find out years later or even less than a few years, they are heading down the aisle with some other woman.
Typically, if a man says that he is not ready or does not want to get married, he means he does not want to marry you. Even if he is not ready for marriage, but he can see a future with you, he would not tell YOU he is not ready for marriage, which by the way, is not the same as he wants to get some things secured before marriage. So, you may be asking the question, “How do I know if my man wants to marry me?” Well, I’d like to start off by saying do not ask a man about marriage in the first 6 months. Do not even bring it up on the first date. The second date you would ask indirect and organic questions to determine whether he is looking for marriage as an end goal. If you ask all the right questions (something we can go into in another blog) in order to determine if he is casually dating you for fun, looking for a one-night stand, or wants a serious relationship that could possibly lead to marriage. Let’s dive into the signs men give when they are not ready, or ready for marriage.
First, men typically know if they want to marry their woman around 6 months even if they wait later to ask. The first sign is that men who are not ready for marriage will deflect or bluntly state they do not want to get married if you or someone were to bring up marriage. Men who are ready engage in the conversation and happily talk about being a family, making a family and having a future with their woman. Many men like the idea of playing house without the legal title of marriage so a woman should look for other signs as well like making sure he is faithful and treats her as a priority in his life.
Another sign when men are not ready is when the man talks about his future and clearly leaves the woman out of the picture. Men who talk about their future career, life, and dreams includes the woman and states words like us or we when speaking of the future. A more obvious sign when he is not ready is when your relationship has no title, you have not been introduced as the girlfriend to his closest friends and family, or on social media for the public to see. Men like to talk about the woman they really like or believe could be the one. If you are unknown to your man’s inner circle, it might be a red flag that he has other women in his life. Lastly, the man who is not ready for marriage says he wants to live in the moment, when you ask questions like, “What are we doing?” or “What am I to you?” you should be cognizant of the answers you get from your man. Men who are ready for marriage want to speak about the future not just live in the moment. Living in the moment are things people say when they want to have fun, synonymous to the ‘you only live once’ (YOLO) theme.
So, to avoid missing those signs, stay attentive. Try letting him talk and see where his mind is. See what his intentions are with you by his actions and see if they align with his words. Sometimes women talk too much (selfishly about our issues) we miss out on things men are saying and the things they are not saying. Now, the take-away from this is that men who say they do not believe in marriage will believe in it when they meet the right one. Men may stay with you even if you are not the one because you are useful for now until the one they want comes along. They usually know they want to marry their woman inside a year’s time and will not shy away from talking about marriage or a future and you will be in his future not just in the moment.