During my divorce, I lost. A lot! Most of us experience loss, but we all experience it differently. In the beginning, it was hard to grasp what was happening and why. As days passed, I begin to see the magnitude of the devastation. There could be the assumption that I am speaking of things like homes, cars, and finances; I’m not. Material items over time can be purchased again; the losses I am speaking of are more significant than a car or collection of movies. Every day, there is a period of new revelations. The recognition of instantaneous change is evident. The empty bed, the car no longer parked in the driveway. But it’s those things that we take for granted that have the most significant impact as the change begins. According to Psychology Today, there are ten losses that we experience in divorce that are sometimes not expected. You can find the entire article at this link, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/201909/10-losses-you-may-not-expect-in-divorce. But here is a summary of the losses. Loss of time with your children Loss of partnership Loss of a best friend Loss of extended family Loss of shared friends Loss of family shared history Loss of financial security Loss of family home Loss of commitment Loss of future vision Although there are significant losses, let’s take a look a the wins. You survived. You are still capable of rebuilding, and you are competent enough to get things on track. You have found out who is genuinely in your corner, and you are building your network of people you can trust. You have earned the right to say no, without excuse or apology, and you know that everything is going to work out in your best interest. This event has not broken you, and your strength is improving every day. 2020 is your year of refreshing, renewal, and restoration. Keep pressing forward because your tomorrow looks a lot brighter than yesterday.
