Is He Talking to Other Women?

Today's blog post Is He Talking to Other Women? was inspired by advice I was asked to give this week. And simply put the issue was how to handle men talking to other women. So as a woman I want you to know talking to or dating a man, doesn't make him your man! ~If the man you’re talking to is talking to is talking to and entertaining other women, then the guy your dating is not committed to you, because the man that your dating - if he's committed to you, he's only going to be talking to you! ~ Coach Sam

Is he talking to other women?  That’s the question. Now if you have never been in a situation with finding out that a man that you were talking was talking to another woman, then you know, you may not be able to relate to the story that I’m going to tell you.


But I have been there. In fact, I remember one day I was on my way home – on my way home to rest in peace and comfort and then suddenly I look up and the guy I’m talking to is talking to and entertaining another woman.


Yeah, he’s being set up with another woman and he’s okay with it. Now he could have turned it down. He could have said you know now man I really don’t want you to introduce me to another woman…


 I’m not really interested in to talking to other women because you know already have this young lady that I’m talking to and I’m truly interested in really getting to know her and seeing where the relationship goes.


But oh no, they were talking to him and he’s like okay. And she’s now in the house waiting for him. And he’s like all right. Now, I didn’t get upset. I didn’t set it off. I didn’t yell, scream, and shout.


Because at that point, I realized if he’s talking to and entertaining other women, then I’m not the only woman on his mind. And that right their ladies is a red flag we sometimes miss.


Because we’re thinking to our-self, okay, so it’s another woman in the picture. Well I’ll just stick around and show him that I’m the best. I’m the best and he ain’t going to find nothing else better. Because ain’t no other woman going to do what I do. Ain’t no other woman going to be down for him and commit to him and bend over backwards like this and that like I do.


So, then we find ourselves continuing talking to this man. Trying to woo him and persuade him and sometimes manipulate him into believing that he should choose us. That he should be with us. That we really are the woman of his dreams. In the meantime, he’s doing his own thing, with this one and that one and that other one too. Now we’re confused and stressed out – wondering what else can we do to get this man to see us to accept us, to pick us, to choose us.


We’re almost sometimes carrying on like Meredith Gray in Grey’s Anatomy. Yeah, you know Grey’s Anatomy, when she was talking about pick me, choose me, love me – that’s how we sometimes out here in these streets looking.


Then we’re wondering why this man is continuing to carry on the way he’s carrying on with other women and not really focusing and paying attention to us. That’s because he realizes that we’re not going anywhere.


And the whole point of dating and relationships is to make sure that person is the best fit for you. So, if you find out ladies that the man you’re talking to – the man you’re interested in – is entertaining and talking to other women, it’s not your job to bend over backwards to try to persuade him and convince him that he should pick or choose to be with you.


You also do not need to be on the phone or in this woman face fussing and cussing. Because I know sometimes our objective – our motive is to run off the other woman so this man can get his act together.


Because by all means he needs to be with us, but this other woman is not committed to you. She’s not with you. It’s not her responsibility to do anything for you. And I know we say, but she’s another woman, she should understand and respect how I feel.


Well guess what, she’s single too. She’s looking for her man too. And it just so happens at this particular stage in the game she feels as though the man that you’re talking to is a man that she’s interested in.


Now we can be mad at her for that. But is she wrong for that? No, she’s not wrong for feeling how she feels and neither are you. So, I want you to understand ladies this very simple point…

~If the man you’re talking to is talking to is talking to and entertaining other women, then the guy your dating is not committed to you, because the man that your dating – if he’s committed to you, he’s only going to be talking to you! ~ Coach Sam


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