There are times in life that we want or need to restore something. And much like restoring a vandalized car or a house that caught fire there is a cost to restoring relationships too. However, because then costs of restoring relationships are often more intangible it’s easy to disregard or fail to recognize that the cost, we pay for restoration are too high, overpriced, and simply not worth it. Just think of it like this- while we can’t live in the world without relationships, we can decide to be wise in who we have, maintain, and build relationships with.
In other words, relationships should be positive, productive, and precious. No two relationships will be alike and that’s normal because you’re dealing with people and no two people even identical twins view or see everything the same. The beauty in that is through our relationships the people in our lives help us and we help them too, at least that’s the way it should be in most of your relationships. I say most because we all know people who are out to get what they can get and be on with their lives.
Still these people you know – takers, users, manipulators, comrades – they can provide you a life lesson of what to look for in relationships you need to avoid investing in or in some cases they can become a catalyst that positions and open doors to and for better things, though it rarely feels like that when your world seems it’s in total chaos and despair. As you think about your past and failed relationships how did they make you feel? Positive should be on your list because like it or not every person we deal with has energy.
Either they bring you negative energy or positive energy so pay attention to how you felt after talking to them and while you’re spending time with them. Did you plan to see them or speak to them again in the moment or were you ready to make a great escape as though you robbed a bank and the police were hot on your trail? Why? Because that will tell you the type of energy, they were bringing in your life and any relationship – dating, family, or even professional, any relationship that had or does consistently weigh you down and made or makes you consistently feel the need to become a criminal on the run or hideout should is a relationship that you don’t need to restore or that you need to eliminate.
If you can’t eliminate them, you should at least go out of your way to minimize them. Toxic relationships are what they are and you should care about your well-being, peace, and sanity enough to avoid and minimize drama draining relationships. In the case of family that may be difficult, but difficult is still doable and your relatives may not like it, but they sure enough can’t override your wishes because you run you. And you have the responsibility and right to run your life productively, which is another trait your relationship should bring into your life.
I know being positive seems similar to productive and you’re right it is. However, just because someone is positive doesn’t always mean they’re productive. Imagine you went to your favorite movie theater and when you got to the window to order your tickets the receptionist greeted you, asked what you needed, but after you communicated it, he or she understood your request, but didn’t t work on it. Or maybe you placed an order for snacks to eat during the show, but instead of fixing your order the clerk took someone else’s order, or said I’m going on break now.
However, as soon as I return, I’ll be right with you, as fast as I can. In both cases the worker greeted you kindly, but did not handle what you needed in a productive manner. Okay! The clerk left you on hold and for some us our old and past relationships look just like that. Yet, we want to restore them, knowing we found ourselves constantly there for others, but they weren’t there for us. We found ourselves regularly excusing peoples negative, unproductive, and vain behavior, while they expected perfection from us.
It’s not enough that your relationships have positive energy they need to be progressing and progressive. You know they need to be moving you forward so that you can look back on where you started and see you’re not in the same place like a hamster spinning on a wheel going round and round in circles. That profits you nothing, so take a long look at your previous relationships to see if any of them were that way. If they were again, I said it before and I’ll say it again you are he CEO OF YOU. Do something about it!
Meaning stay away form the idea of going back to restore something that you don’t need to restore because it is a dead situation. And realize the way you see your past relationships determines how much value, if any, you believe that you got from them and how much value you invested in them. I call this the precious factor. The precious factor is simply the importance of investing in a relationship to help it thrive so it stays healthy. Like the adage says, anything worth having is worth working for.
So just as I asked you to think about the energy your previous relationships brought and to think about if the relationships ended due to lack of productivity, I also want you to think of them as precious. Do you? Do you feel your obsolete or failed relationships had a precious factor”? If not, why? If they did was the “precious factor” fair, meaning the value of investing in them was irrelevant, satisfactory meaning you did invest in them, but should have invested more, or were they excellent meaning your investment in them was so great you don’t see how you could have possibly done more and don’t know why the relationships are now over.
Again, whether your relationships were precious matter. Why? Because ladies and gentlemen time is a limited intangible asset that none of us can get back. So, no, I’m not saying you should hold everyone in your life to the same standards. What I am saying is that there should at least be a standard that you set that allows you to determine if your past relationships were precious and worth reinvesting in. And if you find that you have current relationships that aren’t precious, meaning that you don’t care if they cease to exist so you wouldn’t lose any sleep over them, then count the cost of keeping them. And if you let any relationships go or the other people ended them, count the cost before you to try to restore them.
~ Peace of mind, joy in your heart, and trust in your soul are intangible assets that you shouldn’t forfeit, throw to the wayside, and disregard for the sake of restoration with another. Restoration with that price is a price not worth paying. ~ Coach Sam
~ Exalted Royalty ~ A C.E. SAM COMPANY