Ladies, Are You Making This Number One Dating Mistake?

"Ladies, Are You Making This Number One Dating Mistake?" is my blog post asking women who are dating to evaluate if they understand where they are going wrong by not thinking about and considering the importance of purpose. Because the fact of the matter is that everything created people, places, and things have a purpose. ~Some people treat dating as though it’s simply something to do to fill their idol time or to avoid being alone with their thoughts, however, if you’re dating you should be doing so with purpose and intentionality. ~ Coach Sam

Now, I know that when we think about dating someone we think about a lot of superficial things. Though we may not admit it, we do. We think about how that person appeals to our physical sense, we think about if they have a stable job, and we definitely think about how being in a relationship with them can benefit us. However, how often do we take the time to think about their purpose?

You see we don’t ask people in general if they know their purpose. Yet, were quick to say when a man finds a wife that he finds a good thing. While that’s true do you recognize that marriage is a biblical principle and many people get their own pastor to marry them typically in a church? If your answer is yes, Queen, why is it that you disregard what God created the man you’re dating to do?

Because since you already know your wife material you should know that you’re called to be his help. (Genesis 2:18) And the problem is when the man you’re dating has no sense of purpose you can’t help him fulfill his purpose. So, you’re trying to build for a life time with a man who has no idea how he adds value to the Earth or why God created him.

Remember the Lord declared that he created everything with a purpose. (Proverbs 16:4) And that means you as well. So, the challenge is to recognize that no matter how fine you think is he, no matter how much money he may make or have, or no matter how good you think he may be for you, if he is unaware of his purpose it’s going to be challenging and often impossible for you two to walk together as one.

You may not want to hear that, but think of it like this… Imagine you want to go to the store and he does too, but he wants to take the freeway because it’s faster and less distracting. Yet you want to avoid the freeway because you prefer a slower drive which has a more scenic view. Now, the reality is you both can get to the store. However, the route you take to get there is going to be different as is what you will encounter along the way.

So, with the mindset you all have you can’t get there going together. And that matters a great deal because you cannot do life with someone when you all have two different mindsets, ideas, perspectives, wants, needs, and expectations on what and how life should be. It just won’t work. When you sign up to do life with someone who you can’t serve and they can’t serve you, you’ll end up frustrated, stressed, and confused because the life you live won’t be the life you desire to be living.

That’s why when you choose to live life outside of purpose is it not wise. It says you’re distracted by things in him and about him that ultimately won’t serve you or him well. Remember your life is important. And to spend a lifetime or better yet your lifetime doing relationships without understanding the purpose of being in a relationship and the value they can and should bring into your life and into the world is to waste your life and your time when you don’t have to live life that way.

Today, if you’re reading this, you now know that purpose matters. I encourage you to take the time to learn about his purpose and to understand your own. In fact, going into any relationship, especially a dating relationship you should know and understand your own purpose because it will give you better insight into if you can help the man you’re dating. And it will help you understand how.

Because again if you’re going to be with him, just as he needs to add value into your life, you need to know how to add value into his life. So, if you haven’t already, I want you to one evaluate if you know your purpose so you can date with it intentional at the forefront of your mind and secondly if you don’t work on understanding that first. Because it’s only when you know what you offer at your table that you’re able to determine if you can bring value to his.

~Some people treat dating as though it’s simply something to do to fill their idol time or to avoid being alone with their thoughts, however, if you’re dating you should be doing so with purpose and intentionality. ~ Coach Sam


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