Learning to Let Go

Sometimes "acts of faith" means being still and surrendering to God's will.

It seems like just yesterday when I held my daughter’s hand. She was only 3 years old, and she was my little buddy who was ready to go anywhere with me. The years went by and preteen years arrived when she preferred being with her school friends over me. Being a single parent, I felt hurt but I knew it was just the beginning of the process of letting go. Then high school adolescent years arrived when she’d rather be on her cell phone with earbuds than communicate with me. I witnessed the extreme mood swings and sarcasm, which everyone assured me was normal behavior for this age. It was so unsettling, especially being a single parent. I already carried the guilt of divorce and was trying my best to be both – Mom and Dad to my only child. It was time to go off to college. I moved her to an apt off campus. One day I told her that since my “nest was empty”,  I was thinking about downsizing to a one bedroom to save money. Her response was so grown up and independent. She said, “Mom, don’t worry I am not coming back home.” Those words pierced my heart in a bitter sweet way. On the one hand, it sounded like our relationship had been severed forever, and on the other hand, I knew then that I had done my job well in raising an intelligent, responsible young woman – one who would carry her own. The other day she informed me that she was going to have a cosmetic procedure done! Me, being the natural, holistic health coach wanted to scream negativity. However, I objectively asked her if she had checked out the surgeon’s credentials, reviews and success rate? Of course she had! She is now almost 30 years old, in a great career, with her own place, and her own car.  Besides I taught her how to be a knowledgeable consumer. My friends advised me to persuade her not to have the procedure. They said to tell her it is dangerous and potentially fatal. They said I should tell her how I really feel. I can’t lie I am definitely worried nevertheless, I prayed about it and today I breathe easy. That’s what we mothers do. Que sera sera, what will be will be. Instead, I choose to pay close attention to the signs. I believe that when God speaks, he sends his angels as messengers. For example, I noticed how last Sunday the pastor talked about faith. I naturally started to judge myself; that I procrastinate too much and need to DO more. But then I remembered that sometimes “acts of faith” means being still and surrendering to God’s will. To add, I received a FB notification this morning from a friend who was raving about the exact same procedure my daughter is having! Coincidence? I think not. I absolutely could have gotten emotional and complained about how I felt. Yet, my daughter is a grown woman who must take responsibility for her own body. So I walk with peace and blessed assurance. My faith is strong, and faith without acts is dead. I choose the act of simply… letting go.

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