Marrying a Soldier: What I did Wrong

As I watched and listened to Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah, it brought back a lot of feelings about my own marriage. I married a soldier. Like Meghan, all I knew is that I wanted to marry my husband because he was the love of my life. I did not consider the complex lifestyle of marrying a soldier and there was no rule book nor manual. I did’t realize there was an issue until I started to lose myself. I felt like my husband’s career was inching into every area of my life and that was my fault. I thought my role as a supportive wife was to nurture his career but I didn’t know how to do that and take care of me. Again, there was no rulebook. 

The one lesson I did not learn in premarital counseling was how NOT to make my husband the center of my life. Instead I used his career to justify why he needed to be the center of my life. It wasn’t until years later I learned that I needed to make him apart of my world. 


It’s important to have your own identity. Don’t become his shadow. If you feel that you have become his shadow, it’s not to late to rediscover your purpose and your identity apart from your husband/partner. Find your center within you.


Marriage is a journey and it’s a better journey when you have your own groove and are confident in who you are as an individual.💫

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