📝One of the hardest things to do is to walk away from a relationship with someone you love, adore, and you’re convinced the relationship will lead to marriage. However, what I’ve learned about relationships is we play ourselves so frequently. We settle for less due to the fear of losing a man or being single forever as if we do not know our self-worth. We act as if being with a man defines us. The truth is God created you to be a whole being on your own first. You are God’s daughter, and He wants to give you the very best. You deserve biblical love in which you have your OWN husband. He respects you, protects you, leads in love, washes you with the word of God, and presents you without spot or blemish before marriage. So if interested, read ahead as I tell you a few mistakes that I made. Remember, we cannot control another person’s actions, but we can control our own.
- Fornication (sex outside of marriage). God designed sex for marriage. Sex outside of marriage is a sin, and you’ll likely end up with a soul tie. You have established an emotional and spiritual bond with that person. God called me to abstinence in 2014. I ended up getting pregnant for the first time at 26, having an abortion, and going into one of the worst depressions of my life. Once God got me back right and healed me, I met another guy. I held off sex for a while, but eventually gave in. The soul tie established with this guy turned out to be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made. He was abusive. I lost everything. I would have lost my life, my mind, or ended up homeless and in jail if it had not been for Jesus.
- Acting as a wife without the commitment. I did this in my last relationship with the guy I loved. We started off as friends with benefits…he was who I got pregnant by. We continued to be friends, not having sex because I had moved. When we decided to get into a relationship, I settled for less, did not hold him accountable for his actions, compromised on my standards, and had sex. Two years into the relationship, there was still no commitment. Yet, I was expected to continue playing wife while he played “I’m not sure you’re the one.”
- Compromising on my standards. I set my rules as remaining abstinent until marriage. Still, I compromised once someone who I had “history” with came back into my life.
- Not holding men accountable for their actions.
- Being unequally yoked. I thought I could make it work with a Muslim man as a Christian woman. Sis, hear me when I say it will not work! A man needs to have a relationship with Jesus, know the word, and hear from God.
💡The moral of the story is to stop settling for less than what you know you deserve. This is self-love. Every time I settled, it stopped me from pursuing my dreams, bankrupted me, caused pain and depression, and it never ended well. I still loved the guy, but I loved myself more and finally had started to recognize my value. Therefore, I walked away, even though it was painful. See, I walked away because I knew who my God is. When the time is right, God will send my husband, and in the meantime, I’ll be busy building my legacy. 💅🏽
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📌Need help or guidance through this season, let’s talk!