As a single parent, I often worry about if I am making the best choices for myself and my children. I can only function at the level that I understand, so I constantly try to get new knowledge about various situations I am facing. This includes reading books, listening to podcasts, attending online classes on parenting and even having sit down Q & A sessions with my children. I listen to the music they like to get an idea of their mindset and have even dabbled in Anime thanks to my 13-year-old. I try to understand their perspectives on life in the age of social media and gender-neutral movements. Having two teenage daughters and a pre-teen daughter, I often worry about the image I present to them as a woman. I try to teach them that beauty is about being true to who you are, not about adapting to the “Kardashian/Jenner look” or being obsessed with having a certain body type. I am very open about sexuality and the human body so that it is not viewed as taboo. As a nurse, I encourage them to ask questions about sex and diseases so that they can learn the correct answers and not misinformation from other confused teens. With my only son, I worry about how to give him a full life without a father figure to help guide him. I practice his football drills with him, and we go outside and do the yard work together, but I can’t teach him those fundamental things that a man can because, I’m a woman. I surround him with positive male role models in his sports coaches and my close friends, but I worry how not having a man in the home is affecting him. I also worry about not living up to my full potential because of the focus and energy directed towards being a mom. I feel that I owe it to my children to be all in for them, and at the same time I have to earn a living so that they do not miss out on their needs and even some wants. My youngest daughter participated in competitive cheer, and if you do not know, it is one of the most expensive sports a young girl could participate it. I had to make a choice and pull her out of the competitive arena to maintain a stable life. I do not ever want my children to miss out on a “normal” life because of what I can not provide for them. As a Christian, I know that we are taught not to worry, as a human it is a part of my everyday life. I know I must practice healing, positive affirmations, prayer and doing the work needed to be in a better position for myself and my children financially, mentally, and emotionally. To all my parents out there, none of us are perfect parents, but if we make healthy choices for ourselves and our children, then we must trust that we are doing our best and not worry how it may be viewed by others. Making the right decision is usually the hardest thing to do, but in order to have peace of mind daily, these choices will have to be made. Life is not fair; we do not all start out on a level playing field, but you must make the best choices from the options life has given you. In all things choose happiness and healing so that you can wake up and not worry.
-Miss Kris
www.healthycoparenting.com
