I was once on this never-ending roller coaster of failure after failure. I knew that I was lost and did not have a clue of what was going on in my life. It was in the midst of my third divorce that God stepped in. The first step to my healing was my relationship with God. It was Him that propelled the process of my healing.
It was time to deal with a life filled with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, a life filled with guilt and shame; all the result of past trauma. I lost my voice as a child and although I had searched and searched, it was not until I grabbed His hand that my healing began. The process was by far one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also the bravest!
It started with me looking back at my past. You see in order to move forward, sometimes you must look back. I had to face the very demons that I thought I had laid to rest decades ago. There were times that I felt so alone. He showed me unconditional love; a love that I had never felt before.
You see, although it was my time to heal, there were times that I let His hand go. Not because I wanted to, because I yearned to be healed. Looking back was so painful; however, for me, it was a requirement for pushing forward. It was during this process that I found my voice. But not without sleepless nights. I cried myself to sleep many nights and I cried out to the Lord, “Why me?” The room became silent and then I heard, “Why not you?”
You see, I was made to be used by God! In finding my voice I also found my purpose. My purpose came filled with promises. Promises of a renewed life filled with hope. Promises to restore everything that was taken from me. My purpose is to show the world what a healed soul looks like. I was broken! Discarded! I felt hopeless! But God wanted to use me; He wanted to use this broken soul. Although the world throws away broken people, God picked me up and restored me. It was always His plan to use me. He wants to use me for His glory. I was damaged goods! I was going through life thinking that I needed somebody when all I needed was HIM. You see, I wasted years too scared to open Pandora’s box. Not realizing that my abundant life was inside a box that I never intended to open. Healing was the key! My plead to you is to heal! Find the missing pieces and obtain a renewed life. Are you willing to open Pandora’s box?