What does church hurt, betrayal, dysfunctional family, backstabbing, gossip, lies, and deceit all have in common? They are all things we go through due to someone else. You went to church because you had no other place to turn. You felt welcomed for the most part. You gave a testimony one day, and one member you looked up to in particular suddenly changes their whole attitude towards you. You may have a roommate you trust completely. However, one day on the way to work you made a quick turnaround to run back home. You catch your roommate stealing money from your emergency jar. When an issue or disagreement happens in your family the first thing anyone does to fix it is cut each other off. Everyone disconnects and the first person to reach out and talk is the “guilty” one. Your best friend acts strange every time she’s at your house. She eventually tells you that your boyfriend tried to hit on her behind your back, and she waited because she didn’t know how to tell you. after 10 years of marriage your spouse suddenly tells you they can’t do it anymore. You thought everything was fine, and never thought they would say something like that. How do you move forward, grow, and heal from these types of situations? They often leave us hurting, confused, second guessing, mentally damaged, and struggling with trust. Well……First you can allow yourself to feel how you want to. For some people that may be sadness and for others it may be anger. Whatever it is, feel how you want to but don’t stay stuck there. Secondly understand that there is nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with seeking a fresh start at church. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be roommates with someone you trust. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to break toxic cycles in your family. People have the tendency at times to act based on their own feelings, selfishness, or greed. Often times, not taking the time to think how it will affect someone else. There’s nothing you can do about that. People have had these types of behaviors since the beginning of time. You will run into these types of people and these types of situations no matter what. You can overcome these situations by focusing on your heart and your intentions. Allow yourself to operate from a pure heart. Know what’s right and live by it. Stand firm in your beliefs and faith. By doing this, when you run into these many types of pain and unexpected life moments, you will soar. It may be rough in the beginning, but you will grow. Some situations you may have to distance yourself, find a new environments, or make new friends. Stay on course do better and be better. It will work in your favor. -Lori G. Clark
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