Processing your origins can help in the process of discovering tools for self-love and tilling the soil for future growth. God knew what He was doing!

I am not ashamed

My Momma Pam’s hands, hips, and handles

She carried me in her womb

Third child without the ring or matrimony

Afraid to confess her sins to the man she was mesmerized by

Dad was the lil brother

Slick fro grew straight from Florida tree fruit

Unusual for Chi City streets

Bball skills on skinny black legs

Concrete need hard soles

Confusing the big and tall with his speed and technique

He ran fast

Got high faster

Like his big brothers, made from red Mississippi clay; slick talk and girls galore

‘Pimp’ culture passed down

Dad was the lil brother – making sure them girls ready for the night shift while Granny worked during the day

In between shifts, he first saw her blocks away

A stride she grew into, familiar with its effects

A brick house strut

Standing tall on strong calves

Wide shoulders to carry full bosom and fuller lips

Noticeable glances from afar

Up close, a lover’s lust birthed

Transcending time

Still causing a blush after decades of absence

Before they knew it

Momma’s belly grew

I was formed inside

God’s design

Carrying Momma’s build and Daddy’s temper

I am not ashamed

God’s design

My roots shine through

My build formed in fearful wonderfulness

God’s design

My Momma’s smile and joyful singing

Cooking homemade dishes in strangers’ kitchens

I remember, she belly-laughed at blank screens

And hid her red kisses

Dad ran fast

Got high faster

They survived with nothing more could they give us

Three more babies before they parted ways

Daddy got caught

Momma had no choice

Her Grandma was calling

And she’d kill’em all if her kin tried to take her babies in

Beat them down to the white meat

No choice

She didn’t know everything, but she knew better than to repeat

The state will care better

No choice

Dad was the lil brother

Big brother had it together

He and his new wife saw the glitter in my eye

No choice

Momma went back to Great Grandma


I went with Poppy and Momma D


They went to state


Momma shielded us from her red kisses and blank stares

Dad ran fast

Got high faster

I am not ashamed

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