Single Mother Vs Baby Mama

Having children in the dating world isn’t exactly the ideal position, but it’s a position that many of us cannot escape. Even people with children are looking for people without children (which to me is pretty absurd, but to each it’s own.) 

I’ve had a guy tell me that he didn’t want to deal with someone with children because he felt like the woman’s heart will always belong to her children’s father. And that right there, is the difference between a Baby Mama and a Single Mother. He had somewhat of a point based on the stereotypical “Baby Mama,” always in his business, keeping him away from his children or making it difficult for him to parent his children, and creating endless drama as a result of a failed relationship. 

I’d like to speak for the Single Mothers across the globe who have successfully and intentionally closed that chapter of our lives, done the work to heal and purge ourselves of the pain of a toxic relationship, and who are open to finding a positive male influence for our children to look up to, after all, he will be partly responsible for showing them what love looks and feels like. We have no ill-will toward the father of our children (or fathers in some cases), his life is his life, and his only responsibility to our lives is his children. 

As a mother of 2 girls, I’m very careful in how I interact or entertain men in general. I understand that, they’re not only watching me, but they’re becoming me, so I use them as a guide for what I allow. If I wouldn’t want them dating a particular guy, neither would I.

Being a Single Mother has taught me a lot about who to be. I view raising them as the opportunity to re-raise myself and be the mother that I needed. That means having an open heart, recognizing love, and also recognizing red flags. Protecting me is also protecting them. 

My whole point of this post was to make a clear distinction between the different types of mothers in terms of dating. And although having children can come with a bad rep, I take pride in the strength that single motherhood has earned me. It’s not always as easy as it looks but more important than how it looks, is how it feels.  My children feel loved, protected, and respected, and although I would love a partner and willing participant (lol), until it’s my time, I will remain a Single Mother…accepting offers for Courtship ☺️