The Importance of asking WHY

Monday I had a group mentoring session with my Southern University group and we were revisiting goals. The common goal was losing weight. I asked each of them to explain why that goal was important to them. Of course they gave me answers that they thought I wanted to hear, “I want to get healthy”. I asked key questions. How do you know you’re not healthy? When was your last physical? When was the last time you checked your blood pressure, glucose, cholesterol? The answer did not surprise me. No one had been to the doctor or had checked. So I asked did anyone have a boyfriend. And the answer was No. I asked did they feel if they lost weight they would have a boyfriend? They felt guys would notice them if they were thinner.  This lead to another lesson. Asking WHY is very important because it leads to the reality. This group want to lose weight for someone else instead of for themselves. You must love yourself and do for yourself before you think about others.

Just because you lose weight does not mean the guys will come. Guys notice you already. However, guys can tell that you are not confident in yourself.  Confidence is key. I completely understood how they felt. I use to be 385lbs and I had surgery to lose the weight. I lose the weight and guess what, I was still single. I thought they guys would notice me and ask me out. I changed the outside but I never change the inside. I have always been sweet, and kind hearted but guys always seen me as a sister figure. I finally asked one of my guy friends what was the problem and he responded you don’t have confidence. You must love yourself first. I realized that I didn’t love myself and my focus was getting a man. Once I started having fun by myself, going on trips by myself, pampering myself, forgiving myself, and most importantly getting to know God and what he wanted for me my life changed.

When you set a goal, ask yourself why is this goal important. If the answer is to please others, change the goal and focus on a goal that will please you and God.



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