The pain of divorce

Divorce is an emotional roller coaster, combined with a little haunted house, covered in nonsense. You are surprised by comments, hurt by revelations, and confused by demands. While the two of you may have been the most agreeable people during the marriage, in divorce, it is a battle of wills. There are ways to navigate some of the crazy mixed-up emotions, but it takes practice and self-control. Here is what I learned in the process; it may inspire you or, at a minimum, give you a good laugh. I learned that it was best to make decisions and have conversations in writing. Writing my responses gave me time to think; it created a safe space for me to gather my thoughts and carefully provide an answer. Writing helped keep a line of separation, and I was able to keep a distance from the person that was irritating me. Writing allowed me time, I could respond instantly, or I could wait for a week. I could reply on my terms, in my time. Finally, writing gave me power. Because I controlled when and what I was going to say, and I had time to use wise words. And if I felt emotionally charged, the ex didn’t know because they couldn’t see into my computer screen.
So although I couldn’t always stay calm during the process, I learned to exercise my power through writing. You may find that going for a walk helps you stay calm, or you could prefer to go to the gym. There is no one size fits all solution for staying calm. The only constant is that things will continuously change and that my Brilliant One is guaranteed.

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