The Problem with Being in a Situationship


So you have found yourself dating, in a relationship with….no more like a situationship with a man. How did you get here? You’re strong, you have good self esteem…you know your worth, or do you? I submit to you that we have to look at this way closer than you might be comfortable with. But that is why I am here, to help you identify the truth.


First let’s be honest and identify the problem. If you are dating a man that says he is emotionally unavailable, not ready, or needs more time before he commits to a monogamous relationship with you. I must tell you sis, that you are in a SITUATIONSHIP. Stop calling him your man, because he is not that. He is everyone or anyones man, which is the way he wants it. If he can convince you that he needs more time to commit to you due to any number of reasons, he allows himself to be free to leave you for what he deems better at anytime with anyone without any consequences. He doesn’t even have to label it a “ break up” because he never allowed you the title of his woman.


Now let’s talk about why you have allowed yourself to be or stay in a place that allows a man to devalue and disrespect you. What do you mean Kristy, you’re taking this a little too far? You may be thinking. But again, I said in the beginning of this article that you might get uncomfortable reading this. Allowing yourself to accept a man’s lack of commitment with excuses that are not valid, while giving him all the privileges of a commitment from you is not smart. It speaks to a very real possibility that you indeed do not know your worth, are not strong, and do not have good self esteem.


How do you know if this is true for you, you must break out a journal and write the truth down. The truth on your patterns in past and current relationships. Do you have a habit of settling to make the other party happy while sacrificing your own peace? Do you tell yourself that it’s okay, and you do what is necessary to keep him? It is not that bad, tons of other women have to compromise to get/keep a man. A piece of man is better than no man? These thoughts are familiar to me because these used to be my thoughts. I am not judging you on a behavior that I had to identify within my own past patterns. I am here to help you do the work to heal and accept proper healthy treatment in your relationships. In order to place yourself in a better position in relationships you must be honest with yourself, identify, and accept when there is a problem.

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