The Real You!

An integral part of self love is making sure you're being genuine, and not harboring any negative emotions towards others. Even the smallest of offenses can turn any relationship sour when not properly addressed.

There can be so many components, bullet points, subsections, and reminders to teachings on self-love that it can be confusing. I know when I first heard the term “self love” as a young girl, I just thought that if I did not feel as if I wanted to harm myself, then I had self love. While self love certainly encompasses that, it is also so much more. It took personal experiences and listening to many second-hand stories for me to begin grasping this seemingly elusive term that I had an elementary understanding of, at best. However, my current pursuit of being genuine and authentic has been the number one teacher of self love for me thus far. In an effort to live my best life and encourage others to do the same, I wanted to make sure that I was showing up in every space with ingenuity and authenticity. But, I realized as miscommunications happened and offenses came, my heart became weighed down with emotions that I failed to express out loud. For every feeling of hurt that I feigned, and for every offense that I failed to address, it would harden my heart a little at a time toward others. As you can imagine, I went from showing up as a genuine friend and daughter, authentic in her character, to expressing outward love while harboring inner resentment, little by little. What does this have to do with self love, you may ask? Well, the first lesson in self love for me has been, I show love to myself when I express myself (good, bad, or indifferent) to those around me. Did my mom say something that was hurtful? I either address right there, or I wait until an appropriate time when we’re alone to address it. Did my friend make a joke that offended me? I follow the same process. Did my coworker try to throw me under the bus in the last staff meeting we had? I follow the same process. Developing a process in which I am able to address offenses as they come, as not only been my most powerful lesson on self love to date, but it has also helped me to show up in a genuine and authentic way. Showing up as the real me is the best way, and now that I am learning better, I would not have it any other way. 

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